Freedom, something most of us value and strive for but what does it mean and how much of it do any of us really have? I’ve had the belief that I live a life of freedom because I can choose what I want to do and how I want to live my life but I’ve never really felt free. In fact I’ve felt like a prisoner most of my life, a prisoner of my own mind and of my own habits. Life so often feels like a struggle, a struggle to create what is needed and what is wanted, well, a struggle to survive. Its that feeling of struggle which is like a prison. You see my mind has so many stories and they come in two flavors mainly, regrets about the past and fear of the future. The past provides the raw material for self doubt and judgement, what I could have done better, how I fucked up, what I’m afraid is going to happen again. The future provides anxiety and worry about the same old patterns playing out yet again, an obsession with the worst case scenario. The mixture of these two types of stories is incredibly toxic and sets me apart from freedom. Even though I can decide what to do with my life I don’t really know how to make a decision that will be truly and sustainably fulfilling.

What I’ve slowly come to realize is that freedom has nothing to do with anything external. Focusing on the need for external conditions to be a certain way may just be the root of struggle. I’ve tried that, tried to change things externally, tried to find the right relationship or create the right kind of work. If only I could make it all flow seamlessly, if only I could get a break and make enough money, if only, if only. It never works out, at least not for very long, something always comes in and brings me right back down again. I’m so tired of the ups and downs. So tired of the paralyzing confusion. Oh the patterns, its more painful when you are aware of them and watching yourself play them out but unable to stop. But then maybe thats the glimmer of freedom because watching the patterns play out means that there is a possibility of changing them, making a slightly different choice in the moment that will begin to create a different outcome. They say one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome each time.

So maybe freedom is a state of mind, a perspective. A state of mind that is grounded and connected very intimately with present experience, you know, reality. Rather than all the churning stories of the mind. Maybe I don’t have to fix or change anything to be free. Maybe I don’t need to be healed or improved. Yes actually I’ve only ever tasted freedom in the present moment. When I’ve given my attention fully to life right now. I don’t really know how to live in that place because I can’t see very far ahead. Yet. Yet there is ‘something’ there. Something just beneath the raw experience of life in the immediate present. Its a very subtle thing. A faint but unmistakable feeling. That feeling, when I can be quiet and aware enough to get in touch with it, always seems to point. Its like a compass. A pointing finger. It points to the next step and only the next step. That feeling appears to come from my heart but only when its open to the full reality of the moment. I can live by it I think because its always pointing to the next step just in front of me. I don’t know where it will ultimately lead me but I somehow trust it. The more I trust it the more my life seems to fall into place. I don’t know how but it does. Maybe I don’t need to know how. Maybe this is how you live life from the heart, on the edge of the unknown, surrendered to what is and open to the intuitive guidance that is always being offered right under your nose.

My personal way of relating to the Divine is through the experience of the Goddess or Divine Feminine. When I am in my power, in the present moment I can commune with the Goddess, the Mother of Life and She shows me the way. Some may not relate to this experience of the Divine as the Goddess but this is what speaks through my heart. I resisted this guidance at first because the Lady asks for my surrender in return. My personality didn’t like that idea, it wanted to continue running the show even though its been incredibly unsuccessful in creating a happy fulfilled life. I’ve come to surrender to the Goddess more and more and I find an indescribable peace in that. It feels like freedom, my personality no longer has to figure so much out, it becomes a vehicle for the Lady’s expression. Creative expression. So. Freedom = surrender? Freedom = creativity? Freedom = right now? I’m beginning to think I’m not who I thought I was. I’m beginning to love what I don’t know. I’m making love to the Goddess in my intimate surrender to Her and embodiment of Her gift, life. I feel loved from within. Now this is freedom!

When spirituality is compartmentalized we create a concept out of it and then proceed to judge ourselves, other people and our experience based on that concept. However that concept is not real except in our minds and it creates separation which cuts us off from reality. Whatever our concept of spirituality is it is in some way problematic because its limited and spirit knows no such limits. Spirit is life itself, the ever flowing life energy of the entire cosmos of which we are a unique expression, just as we are now. Our personalities being a vehicle for the creative expression of Divine Will. We are the means by which the universe becomes aware of itself in an infinite number of forms and actions. Some of those forms are considered beautiful and some are considered horrible but ALL are spirit. There is no form or expression in existence which is not Divine.

One way this shift has impacted me is in terms of how I view my sexuality which I’ve unfortunately repressed and struggled with for most of my life. Part of that repression was due to an inner judgement that my sexuality was not spiritual or healthy and not something to indulge without unfortunate consequences. This is partly due to the fact that I’ve always been very much outside the norm sexually including things like bondage, polyamory, dominance and submission, various fetishes and a fluid gender identity. These things were judged based on my concept of spirituality and pushed away only to resurface with enormous power and then be indulged in resulting in feelings of shame. I felt like I was a hopelessly fucked up person who would never find the freedom that I sought on my spiritual path. In the process of letting that go and seeing these things as manifestations of spirit and my inclinations as pathways to creative expression of the Divine I have found a new sense of freedom. I’m now able to more openly and freely express who and what I’ve always been without so much judgement and shame. Seeing the sum total of my personality as a unique expression of Divine Will, both the dark and light. These things are just a part of who I am and they reflect my true nature which cannot be conceptualized but can be expressed. From the occult perspective all personal actions and inclinations are responses to the influence of the Divine.

I think its a great practice for those of us who walk a spiritual path to question all our assumptions and concepts to be sure that they truly serve us and that they don’t cut us off from life. If we include all aspects of ourselves and our experience in the realm of spirituality we are then able to work with them in a new way and embrace ourselves fully just as we are. We are able to truly BE ourselves and we can bring consciousness and awareness to everything we do and dissolve whatever may be dysfunctional. The direct experience of the absolute has been described by many mystics in erotic terms and my experience of communion with the Goddess is often experienced in just that manner and it is a very profound experience. When you truly embrace spirit and follow your heart you end up having to drop all your conceptions and allow life to flow though you however that may look which I think is beautiful.

I have a question for you and I have a challenge for you (and for me too). We are at a very intense key point in history as you may have noticed. I believe that right now more than ever what we individually think, feel, believe, say and do is critically important to how these intense times play out. We are living in a time of a real opportunity for lasting change and absolutely NO ONE else is going to create that change for us, its on each one of us. We cannot depend on politicians or religious leaders or anyone else. This is a time of individual action.

In the tradition of western occultism that I study it is a given that what we hold predominatly in consciousness is what ultimately becomes our actual physical experience. This tradition also is very clear that any real creation requires practical action or it remains nothing more than wishful thinking because without action nothing can take form. This has challenged me again and again to look at what I am really willing to do to realize my dreams. How serious am I about creating change or am I just waiting for it to happen? How willing am I to let go of what is comfortable, familiar and known to embrace something new and unknown?

So my question for you is what are you personally willing to do to change this world, right now? Are you willing to walk out of your house and join in protests to demand equality? Thats different than watching others do it on Youtube, are YOU willing to do it? If not what are you willing to do because doing nothing is something as well and I think we have to ask ourselves what we are choosing if we choose inaction.

So my challenge to you is to ACT, in a way that feels right for you but to let go of waiting for anything. To act from the heart and from your truth. To let go of looking to anyone else to do it for you. To ACT for the change that YOU personally want to see happen and to ACT NOW!

We truly can create change because change happens all the time, its just a matter of guiding that change in the direction that we want to see manifest rather than allowing others to use us to manipulate things for their greedy dysfunctional aims. We only stop being used in this way when we take full responsibility individually and personally and become will to actually DO something. When that is combined and coordinated collectively as there is the potential for now you have a revolution. Its time for a re-evolution!

Do you believe in reincarnation/past lives? Well I started my spiritual path studying Buddhism so was exposed to reincarnation from the beginning. Since then my practices have widened to includes many other ways of connecting and working with spirit but my belief in reincarnation has never wavered. It seemed to just makes sense to me at a deep level. I never really felt the need to question it although I did study the subject in some detail. However it wasn’t till last year that it got taken to a much deeper level. I was going through a particularly rough period which included being really really broke and not even having a stable place to live. I was pretty much crashing with friends for several months with stressful times in between places. I just couldn’t get it together and this was part of a larger process of letting go of my identity and awakening into a new more expanded life which was a painful process to say the least. Toward the end of this period I was going to stay with a friend and since I didn’t have a car I took the bus which dropped me off at the bottom of the hill where their house was. I started walking up the hill (about a mile) carrying a backpack, a suitcase and a sleeping bag. It was a very hot day, in the 90s and I started to lose it. I felt like just breaking down and giving up on life, I felt worthless and powerless, like I couldn’t go on.

At the height of that something happened. It was a powerful flash or rush of memories which I now consider a recollection from a past life. As I was walking up the hill and struggling so hard I had the experience of being a Roman soldier marching, wearing my armor, carrying all my equipment, a sword, a shield and marching and marching endlessly in the heat. It wasn’t just an image or thought, I could feel the armor, my helmet and the sandals on my feet and see the great golden eagle flying on the dark red banner being carried ahead of me. I could remember my name and my rank and position in the legion and where we were, marching in the eastern part of the empire through the desert to crush a rebellion somewhere. The details and clarity of this really struck me but what struck me even more than that was that it transformed the desperate place I was in. I felt the power I had lost, the power of being a soldier who could march across a continent 2000 years ago and the strength and dedication that must have taken. I could feel the way that man felt, a fierce unyielding determination. Nothing could stop him except death itself and he had no fear of that because he was a warrior. My current difficult circumstances felt like nothing compared to that. I felt the warrior spirit re-emerge in me like a tidal wave and I broke free of the pit of depression I was caught in.

After that experience I no longer just believed in reincarnation, I knew it was true as a fact of experience. Something like this could be explained away in various ways by other people who don’t accept reincarnation but if anyone actually experienced what I did they could have no doubt. This was transformational for me. It helped me tap into an enormous reserve of personal power which is symbolized by the warrior archetype. I have walked the warrior path for many lifetimes including this life. I’ve been a soldier and a martial artist in this life and went through a process of rejecting that as destructive when I began to walk a spiritual path. In rejecting it however I also rejected a large part of my power. Now I consider myself a spiritual warrior and the recollection of this past life reminded me of the importance of the warrior spirit on the spiritual path because without it I don’t think I could have made it through. The warrior spirit when properly directed by spirit and the heart is an invaluable resource which brings great strength and fearlessness and an attitude that will never give up no matter what the circumstances. I don’t know about you but I feel we could all use a good dose of that in this day and age. Perhaps this was an example of how our past experiences can be drawn upon to help us at times when we most need to remember what we learned and accomplished back in the day. I think we all have such gems buried deep within if we can recollect them.

Lately I’ve been considering the question of morality and the role it has played in my life. Many people consider a sense of morality essential to living a healthy life and most human societies are based on some form of moral code. Usually these moral standards are derived from one of the major world religions or philosophical systems. Morality defines standards of behavior in a society and serves as a guideline in differentiating between right and wrong. We find it in the west in the form of the ten commandments and in the east in the form of the precepts of Buddhism as well as in many other forms. Its encoded into many of our legal systems and conditioned into us from an early age. There are many common elements between the standard moral codes in use today typically defining prohibitions like not killing, not stealing, not lying and not committing adultery. Many of these standards are hard to argue with because most would consider them common sense.

However one stark reality when it comes to human morality in my opinion is that its a dismal failure. Even the most basic moral standards are routinely violated not only by individuals but by entire governments. Human beings kill each other by the thousands every day and even the most average people regularly lie, cheat and steal. We are conditioned with moral standards of behavior and simultaneously exposed to role models and entertainment that glorify the opposite. The most popular entertainment in our society consistently uses the worst aspects of humanity to entertain us. We enjoy watching people being killed, we enjoy stories about crime and corruption and get off on sexual dysfunction. When you really look at it there is an incredible dichotomy here. The question we have to ask is, what does it do to the human psyche to be conditioned into a moral system that is then violated at every opportunity in everyday life by the most powerful and influential members of society?

I would say the answer to that question is that it breeds both a collective and individual mental illness because in the end we are being conditioned into conflict. The conflict begins internally as children as we see that the adults around us don’t follow the rules that we are being asked to follow. The conflict intensifies when we begin to engage in immoral behavior as teenagers (we wouldn’t be cool or accepted if we didn’t). The moral conditioning becomes the inner judge that tells us over and over again in our minds that we are not good people because we do things that are not acceptable. This inner conflict is a part of most of what we normally consider mental illness but its also a part of almost every persons experience in our society to some degree. This inner conflict of dissonance also plays out on the collective stage in conflicts between political parties, religious groups and nations. We regularly see politicians speak of morality and then get caught engaging in the worst of behavior. One country goes to war with another based on the moral high ground and then engages in torture and slaughter in the name of that morality.

I would say that morality was a necessary stage in the development of human consciousness but in my view it has outlived its usefulness and shown its limitations. The inherent problem with morality is that it is indirect and limited. Morality is based on a set of guidelines for behavior that are dictated by someone else and conditioned into us without our consent. I don’t know about you but I never agreed to the moral codes of my society in advance. Rather they were more or less dictated. The indirectness of morality results in not only its failure but in the need to enforce it through laws and punishment which inevitably are not applied equally to all members of society. People obey the moral code out of fear of being punished or they seek ways to circumvent it altogether. Much of the impetus for imagining we need a moral code is the idea of original sin, that human beings are inherently bad so without an imposed moral code they would wreak havoc on themselves and the world.

When I speak of the indirectness of morality what I’m referring to is the fact that someone else is telling us what is right and wrong instead of us determining that for ourselves. This creates a disconnect with our inner guidance and wisdom which are the alternative to this disjointed approach to life. The alternative to morality is teaching our children to value a direct connection to spirit in whatever form is meaningful to them. If one operates from the assumption that our true nature is divine then a direct connection to that divinity serves as an inner source of guidance that we can fully depend upon. From there they can be encouraged to connect with their intuition and inner guidance and learn to trust it from an early age. When one is in touch with the actual experience of spirit in the intense aliveness of the present moment morality becomes meaningless. We intuitively know what is right and what is wrong for us and we live in accordance with spirit which cannot be nailed down into a code of laws but can always be counted on as the most trustworthy guiding force we could possibly imagine. If children were raised by parents that truly put this into practice they would learn by example while still having the freedom to allow their own unique connection to spirit and inner wisdom to form rather than having it squashed by an imposed set of standards.

We have reached a stage in our evolution when disconnection from spirit or our true nature is no longer possible if we are to continue as a species. Evolution must continue in harmony with spirit or the dysfunctional chaos we see around us will inevitably consume our civilization as it is now doing. We have everything we need to live healthy, happy, conscious and fulfilled lives right here right now if we are willing and able to go inward and realize our true being. The voice of spirit is always whispering in our ear if we can quiet our everyday mind enough to listen. The endless distractions of our society makes this exceedingly difficult for many of us but it is possible. So many of us feel hopeless about our lives and the world, sick and tired of the misery that passes for mainstream life and that is the catalyst to break free from it and make that inward journey. The only way our society can truly change is if we individually make that journey back to spirit. The time for that is now and the journey starts here……

The use of psychoactive substances for healing, transformation and spiritual unfoldment is a phenomena that has been with us since the dawn of man. In a way you could say a culture is reflected in its choice of substances with the west being very much an alcohol, caffeine and nicotine culture (its all about uppers and downers). These are the approved and even promoted substances but there has always been a minority who experiment with substances that society does not endorse. There is a growing movement to have marijuana more accepted as a medicine and to legalize it for recreational use while it is already the most mainstream of the unapproved substances. Its medicinal and healing properties cannot be denied anymore than one can deny its potential for abuse.

Beyond marijuana, psychedelics (and similar substances) have made a comeback in the last decade since their initial widespread use in the 60s and 70s but this time they have emerged along with an interest in indigenous medicine and shamanism. Many people engage in the use of mind altering substances now with the stated intention of healing and transformation rather that just having fun (although thats obviously still in there for many). I have used many of todays most well known substances myself on my spiritual path and as an aid to healing and releasing old wounds as well as expanding my perception. The most striking thing about the plant medicines in use today is their sheer power, the intensity of which opens up the psyche bringing non-ordinary states of consciousness as well as material from deep within the unconscious mind to the surface. This can be very powerful spiritually in helping us directly experience the dream-like nature of reality and realize that there is much more to the universe than we usually experience. The power of these tools in opening up the unconscious and helping us break old patterns, heal old wounds, release stagnant energy and purify our minds and bodies is also mind boggling.

Much has been written on the benefits of shamanic tools such as Ayahuasca, Iboga, Mushrooms and Peyote and I am certainly no expert in this area in any way although I have taken part in many of these things with some beneficial results. However what I’m beginning to see is the shadow side of the neo-shamanic movement as I call it and it concerns me because of the power of these medicines and the lack of preparation of so many who commune with them. Like many things that become popular in alternative circles there is a very fad-like surface quality to much of what passes for shamanic practice in this country. Doing Ayahausca or smoking DMT is the cool thing to do to be in the in-crowd and those that haven’t done them can be looked down on for not being in the know. This can and does create peer pressure to try them which can be very damaging for people who are not prepared for it and/or don’t have the proper guidance or support. Many of the people leading shamanic medicine ceremonies and who call themselves shamans have quite questionable credentials if you ask me. This is further complicated and distorted by the fact that in the west there is a substantial profit motive involved as people might pay thousands of dollars to take part in some ceremonies.

When you seriously study the shamanism of indigenous cultures you quickly realize two things. One is that power plants were only one part of the overall training and practice of a shaman. The other is that in most cultures the use of power plants was considered very sacred and not open to everyone, shamans would need to undergo many years of practice and apprenticeship before being initiated into them. In the west we have none of the culturally based mechanisms for the use of power plants which developed in the old cultures over many generations. A larger issue with our western culture is the quick fix or shortcut mentality which has been conditioned into us by mainstream medicine. This is most easily reflected in the way people pop all sorts of pills to effect an immediate (usually unsustainable) change in their consciousness whether to relieve pain or to enter into expanded awareness. Since the states produced by so called drugs are not sustainable you end up with addiction as people must continually consume the substance as they chase after the state. This is an incredibly dysfunctional relationship with medicine but is very effective if the motive is profit and an addicted society that is easy to control.

However this mentality can also involve going on an Ayahausca retreat to dredge up our ‘stuff’ in the hope that we can quickly be free of it. I’m seeing people woefully unprepared for the result of that and all too often suffering the consequences of too quickly having more to integrate that they are capable of handling. Occult literature has long warned of the dangers of opening oneself to higher planes of experience before one has been properly prepared and these warnings were not offered for no reason. We ingest a substance and enter into realms of which we have no understanding and therefore are unable to protect ourselves from energies and beings we encounter there. Even when it comes to blissful experiences of oneness and interconnection, it is all too easy to become attached to those experiences which usually leads to frustration when the experiences are not able to be sustained. The quick fix mentality may have found its latest expression in those that believe they can find a shortcut to freedom, well being and awakening through shamanic medicines.

My concern is that we could be breeding a new form of addiction because I’ve seen so many people who just can’t seem to get enough of powerful plant medicine, going to ceremony after ceremony and trying numerous medicines with very little time to integrate the experience or what it brings up. There appears to be a potential self destructive tendency in some of this or even an addiction to the intensity and often painful experiences that can result. The question I usually want to ask is, are you sure you are healing or are you simply traumatizing yourself? The way these medicines are being used in the west today is very far removed from how the old cultures used them. When it comes to seeking expanded consciousness or mystical experience I think there is a need to honestly look at the motivation there as well. The escape mentality is so prevalent in our culture that people will do almost anything for a novel experience that frees them from the monotony they experience as the present moment (quite an irony).

My intention here is to call out some of the shadowy more dysfunctional aspects of the neo-shamanic movement but it is not to suggest this movement is a bad thing. These plants have been used for centuries for a reason and our wise brothers and sisters of the old cultures discovered their power and how to wisely put it to use. If we want to address the destructive side of this we will in my opinion need to do the work and let go of being in such a hurry to have the latest ‘experience’. The work of establishing a new shamanism that is compatible with our own culture because spiritualities from other cultures have to be assimilated and made a part of the receiving culture to be effective in the long term. We need to vastly expand the context of the use of power plants to involve rites of passage, proper training and apprenticeship, practices to integrate the experiences and community support provided by people who are truly prepared and genuinely motivated to provide that support. I also believe we need to develop our own relationships with plants that are a part of our local environment rather than importing medicines from far away places. The land and local environment was very important to the old shamans and it is from a deep profound relationship with the land and spirits that they received the power plants and wisdom to use them wisely. If we are willing to take the time and put the energy into it we can create that same relationship with our local environment and allow the Earth Mother to guide us to the plants we’re most naturally meant to work with rather than importing them from a foreign place. It would also protect indigenous peoples from more hoards of meaning starved westerners from invading their land and taking their medicine while leaving little behind once the fad has run its course. If we as a culture are not willing to put this kind of time, energy and commitment into developing our own shamanism I doubt the overall impact of this movement will turn out positive because this is ultimately revealing of the true underlying intentions.

We live in a time of unprecedented availability of wisdom, spiritual teachings and healing modalities. The question for each of us is, will we choose wisely and consciously and sustainably? In my view shamanic medicines can be incredible tools for healing and aids to expanded awareness if they are seen as merely tools. The irony in all this is that our freedom and divine nature is right here right now in the present moment just as it is and ultimately we need nothing outside ourselves to realize it. All the tools used on the journey must at some point be put down lest they become yet another prison.

Technology has also played a major role in helping us retain our freedom. The trend in many of the worlds governments has continued to move in a more repressive direction and this has resulted in restrictions on communication and the media among other things. Computers and the internet are almost impossible to completely control (just ask the Chinese because they’ve tried with limited success) so information, even information governments would like to restrict, is usually able to find a way through. From smartphones taking video of police abusing protestors getting posted on youtube to social networking sites being used in massive uprisings (the middle east) to Wikileaks outing the practices of our corrupt lying governments, technology is now a key tool in the realization of freedom. When you can’t count on the media to tell you whats going on you can now become your own reporter and share information with everyone. Were it not for the internet we would be almost entirely at the mercy of the media propaganda machine.

Defending Democracy is not the only value its had and if your a spiritually minded person like me you may just owe the internet a bit of gratitude. Compared with the not too distant past the breadth of quality spiritual teachings available on the internet is mind boggling. Everything from learning Astrology to Western Occultism to the Sutras of the Buddha. Many libraries are going electronic making more and more of the worlds knowledge available to almost everyone. This is even becoming true for low income people as laptop technology has now reached the level of the cost of a television. Its true that much of that information is unreliable, meaningless or even deceitful but having more information is better than having none in my opinion we just have to become adept at sifting through it to find the gems.

There are deeper implications of all this in my opinion because from the level of consciousness we may ask what this represents. What are the implications of human knowledge being available to the entire planet and individual people being able to communicate and express in multiple mediums with the entire planet? Well I would say the implications are evolutionary. Human beings are not separate from the planet, we are the Earth. We are expressions of the Earth as is all life. But we are the only physical form of life on this planet that is capable of self conscious creative expression and we have formed the means of that expression into a planetary sphere of consciousness. Could we be the process by which the planet is becoming self aware on a new level? Could our technology be a manifestation of that? I think so. There is such a tendency to think of technology as being separate from nature but how can it be, its made using the materials of the Earth by living beings of the Earth. There is now a network of information moving across and above the planet at the speed of light. Governments think that network can be controlled, they are wrong. It has moved beyond the ability to control and become an expression of consciousness. No one person or group of people or organization can control it or even completely understand it, it has taken on a life of its own.

Some people I know would be quick to point out that technology has had a major destructive impact on our world and they would be right. The creation of it has harmed the environment, has created weapons of mass destruction, the ability of the governments to invade our privacy and created social barriers by isolating us in behind computer screens. I fully acknowledge the negative aspects of our technological revolution, hell it may even be cell phones that are killing so many our of amazing honey bees. However its not technology that’s to blame for this, that would be a poor excuse for us to make. Rather its the state of consciousness behind its creation. Technology does not need to be harmful to or in opposition with the environment or a healthy way of life. The state of mind that cannot conceive of consequences and acts only for power and its own self interest is the culprit here and it just may be that our evolving technology while being a tool of the dysfunctional consciousness can also help it evolve. My vision is of a healthy conscious relationship with our technology. Using it for creative expression, communication, education, exploration and even evolution. A technologically advanced society that is fully balanced with the natural world and the spirit sounds like an amazing vision to me and its what I am putting my energy into creating. Whats your relationship with technology, your vision?

Are you waiting for the end of the world? The recent prediction of the rapture and end of the world this year by a fundamentalist Christian preacher got me to ask myself that very question. Oh course I didn’t take it seriously because you know they do that all the time don’t they but it also go me thinking about what is behind such predictions. Well there was no rapture but it was surprising how seriously some people took it, even selling their possessions and moving to a ‘safe’ place. It was hard for me to not just write them off as ignorant, gullible and sad but that would be nothing more than my own self important judgement however they may just represent a powerful collective pattern. A pattern that has been going on for millennia. How could I really blame them because life in mainstream society is pretty damn lousy so why wouldn’t people want to let that all go for a life of eternal bliss? I mean you work at a job which even if you like it you have to admit that if you weren’t being paid you wouldn’t be there. Well then theres money which is why most people ‘work’ and you can never seem to get enough of the stuff. But at least theres relationships and love right, bliss, uh kind of but you also get trauma, disappointment and divorce. We’ve got war, we’ve got violence, inequality, a dying environment….yada yada yada….I could fill the entire post with this, it pretty much sucks the big one. So why not have a rapture and leave this cesspool behind for an eternal life of bliss?

Shit it actually sounds kinda good. Fuck this world man, I want heaven NOW!  So I had to ask myself how this pattern exists for me, am I too waiting to be saved by the rapture? You see it isn’t just fundamentalist Christians, what about the whole 2012 phenomena? There are many views on 2012 from the entirely doom and gloom end of the world in a fiery explosion nonsense to the idea of transformation into a new age to a shift in realities or expansion of consciousness all the way to the ascension of humans into a high level of reality. Hmmmmmm, kinda sounds like a new age version of the rapture without all the biblical crap thrown in. We just get to replace that with Mayan stuff or people coming down from the Pleiades or whatever star system their emissaries happen to be from this week to take us ‘home’. So hell yeah lets ascend, lets jump on a spaceship and head to the greener pastures of um Orion or fuck it wherever its sunny and life is good.

But wait a minute something isn’t right here, do we really get to ascend and leave the mess we’re created on this beautiful planet for someone else to clean up? Do we really think that all the unconsciousness we’re played out in our lives is going to vaporize in 2012 so we can be reborn new and fresh and miraculously conscious in 2013? (and be born again new agers). If so I guess you haven’t read much about karma or don’t find it convenient to that plan. You see for me the problem with all of this whether its the Christians, the Muslims going to heaven for the 72 virgins or new agers ready to awaken in 2012 is in my view its an expression of the desire to escape. To escape from the suffering we (each and every one of us no matter how enlightened we might think we are) are creating for ourselves and our world right now. Its missing the most sacred point of life which is that it happens NOW and only now.

Thats actually good news and if we were to accept it truly we could get rid once and for all of all the rapture, apocalypse, ascension, new age 2012 crap that gets recycled constantly. Eternal life, you got it. Life is eternal and exists eternally in the now, are you willing to drop your mind created illusion of time and join life there right NOW? Bliss, joy, happiness, you got it, its what you are, your true self but can you let go of putting all your energy into maintaining a complex, fragile, always under attack, never satisfied self, which never existed to begin with it just separates you from your true self. You won’t get to your true self by trying to improve yourself because ahem, cough, er uh you don’t have a self! How the hell do you achieve enlightenment in the future when there is no future and enlightenment is what you already are at your core? You don’t. Ever. Which I think is why so many of us cling to all this crap because we’re terrified of what we really are because its unknown and limitless. We can’t understand it with our minds or control it with our egos, not that we ever could anyway so we settle for the painfully limited existence thats nearly self destructed us.

The rapture is happening right now, 2012 is happening right now, life is happening right now, joy is happening right now. Its up to you to align yourself with that, then your world will end as you knew it (without needing some guy to drop out of the sky or some pyramid to light the way to the center of the galaxy). Your world will end and you will enter the kingdom of heaven, right now. So the question is what are you waiting for, will you take the leap NOW?

We hear so much about compassion these days and having practiced in the Buddhist tradition for so many years I’ve been steeped in it. However my perspective on what compassion is and what it means to practice it has changed dramatically as I’ve walked my path. I think its very important to be clear on what we mean by the term compassion because after all its just a word and like many words much misused with all sorts of meanings for different people. For most of my time on the Buddhist path what I thought was compassion was really pity and my own self-importance and that’s what most of what passes for compassion out there is in my view. One of my Buddhist teachers called that idiot compassion. A good deal of people’s efforts to help others (including my own) is not really compassionate but manipulative assuming we know what someone else needs or whats best for them or helping them because the state they are in makes us uncomfortable and we really want them to be different. Suffering people remind us of our own suffering even if its just under the surface so is helping them a way to make them stop reminding us of our own pain? This made me question compassion altogether feeling that maybe its all bullshit and we can’t really be concerned with others at all without in some way manipulating them. I’ve become pretty wary of people who are out there to ‘help’ others.

However in my view the Buddha taught compassion as an antidote to self-importance. A way to take the focus off our compulsive preoccupation with ourselves and widen our view to includes others, other people and other beings. This shifted further for me when a teacher (a Tibetan Lama) who I really respect was asked about compassion in reference to helping others. He said that compassion has nothing to do with helping others and that there is really no way we can help anyone in a genuine way. He said compassion in his view was ‘seeing’ the interconnection between oneself and all beings. When one truly ‘sees’ that interconnection and functions fully present in the moment from a place of inner silence one naturally responds to the circumstances of the moment, one does what needs to be done. There is no thought needed, not even the thought of helping or trying to decide what to do. If the left hand becomes stuck the right hand immediately responds to free it. For him compassion was a way of living with the realization of interconnectedness and acting from that place. But to do that we must attend to our own minds which is the most compassionate thing we can do, both for ourselves and others. We must be able to step out of our mind created reality into inner silence, no mind, this way we don’t project our version of reality onto others.

This is my view of compassion, no longer acting as if we are separate beings either avoiding others or trying to manipulate them but doing what needs to be done in the moment without a mental story or self-importance. This involves the practice of equanimity, seeing ourselves as equal to all other beings no matter their life situation. We can then act from that place of inner equality with no attachment to the outcome and no agenda because we are not creating one with our mind stories of how things are or how they ‘should’ be. From the perspective of presence things simply are as they are and in that lies divinity, the expressions of which sometimes look beautiful and sometimes look horrifying. By flowing freely with what is we can co-create in harmony with it as agents of divine will.

Problem consciousness is based on fear and draws its perspective from past problematic experiences while it projects its fear based vision into the future. What is missed in this is the present moment, right now. This is part of what creates problem consciousness, a disconnection from the power, abundance and magic of the present moment. It is this very disconnection which is at the root of problems. For my situation to be a problem I have to project a fear based imagination into the future. The truth for me right now is just that I don’t know yet where I’m going to live. In the present moment we have the power to create, creation happens only in the NOW because that’s where life happens. Life never happens in the past or the future. So there is no power in the past except what we store there by giving it power through our stories right now. There is also no power in the future except what we project into it with our imagination right now. Problem consciousness is a backwards way of relating to life because it is focused on trying to fix what is happening externally rather than first attending to our state of mind. When we neglect our state of mind we struggle to ‘make’ things different ‘out there’ without realizing that our state of mind is what is creating the problem, the external is but a reflection of that.

To be free from problems means that we learn to live fully in this moment. Recognizing the stories we still carry about the past that keep bringing us suffering in the present, we can reclaim that power by feeling the emotions wrapped up in those stories while we choose to let them go and instead focus our attention on right now. We all have repetitive thoughts and stories about how we’ve been abused, wronged and slighted but we don’t have to believe those stories because believing them no matter how true they seem keeps them alive and keeps us in pain and separated from our power in the moment.

Letting go of the past frees up enormous power which we can then use to create, it takes an incredible amount of power to maintain our painful pasts. The relationship with the future becomes a creative act based in the present moment. I have not yet created a place to live but right now in this moment the place I’m going to live exists, it exists as a vision in my mind which is where my problems exist. However creation replaces problem consciousness with something that actually creates a future that brings us what we want, brings us joy, empowerment and fulfillment. So for me instead of focusing my attention on making a problem out of my living situation, I instead ground into the moment and appreciate what I have while I envision where I want to live. I envision it with the power of the moment and with joy which infuses that vision with the power needed to make it an external reality. I know this process works because I’ve seen how effectively I have been able to manifest my fear based visions. We all are powerful manifesters but the challenge is to shift problem based manifestation to creative joyful manifestation of what truly serves us.

The first step is to accept what is. We may not like what is happening now or how things are but our current life situation is the gateway to our power. If we reject it, fight it or make it into a problem we cut ourselves off from life and make the problematic perspective into a reality. If we accept it we create space within which we can be ok right now and from that okness we can draw on our true power and effectively create what we want. We can step into our natural state as co-creators of our reality and realize the potential we can here to actualize. But we must have the courage to step into the unknown, out of our comfort zones. We must challenge our beliefs and be ready to feel long repressed emotions and let go of our painful stories. When we let go of problem consciousness what used to be problems become challenges which with our reclaimed power we can overcome. The reward is freedom, right now.