The Treasure March 4, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Spirituality, blog , 1 comment so far
A man was walking in the forest and came upon a monk sitting under a tree.
The man asked the monk, who are you sir?
The monk replied, I am.
I see said the man and how is it you look so happy and joyful?
I have discovered a treasure said the monk.
Well sir, I am a poor man and am distraught with my life, won’t you share this treasure with me?
The monk said, of course my dear fellow, please sit down here next to me.
The man sat down and the monk continued to sit looking peaceful and serene, smiling.
Finally growing impatient the man said, sir, when will you share this treasure with me?
The monk said, I share it with you now, will you not accept it?
I mean no disrespect but you have only sat here next to me, I have seen no treasure.
Ah said the monk, first you must put down your burden.
But sir, I have nothing, I carry no burden.
Perhaps you have carried it so long you have forgotten said the monk.
Well then, what must I do said the man?
Suddenly the monk slapped the man in the face.
Ouch! cried the man, why did you do that?
I was trying to get your attention said the monk.
Well you did, that hurt.
My apologies, do you hear that soothing sound in the background asked the monk?
Yes, it is the stream at the edge of the forest.
Indeed, and do you smell that sweet fragrance in the air?
Oh yes, the blossoms of the tree have just opened said the man.
Lovely and do you feel the warmth of the sun on your face?
Yes, it is quite a pleasant day at that.
Would you like some of these grapes asked the monk?
Thank you sir, they are quite delicious.
The monk bowed then got up and began to make his way down the road.
The man asked, sir, where are you going?
Now that you have laid down your burden and accepted the treasure I am going back to my hut to take my afternoon nap said the monk.
But sir, what shall I do now?
Leave your burden and enjoy the treasure and joy will never leave you no matter what happens……….
Communing with the Goddess on the Full Moon February 28, 2010
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This morning was the full moon in Virgo/Pisces and last night when the moon as out in all her radiance I tried a new form of full moon practice. I usually do a special practice on the full moon which includes meditation and channeling the powerful energy with intention but last nights practice opened me up to the energy of the Goddess at a new level.
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Facing the Darkness: A Powerful Healing Experience February 20, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Healing, Spirituality, Warrior/Divine Masculine, blog , 5comments
Have you ever had a period in your life where you felt stuck and overcome by your habitual patterns unable to break free? That has been my life over the last few months and it seemed like no matter what I tried to do it would not work out. Either I was too confused to know where to direct my energy or when I did have a direction no matter how much effort I put forth it would still be unsuccessful. I felt a deepening frustration and an increasing darkness overtaking me and nothing was working to break free of it despite much effort. I have a pretty strong spiritual practice but it did not seem to be able to penetrate whatever it was I was struggling with. So as I do when I’m feeling confused or lost I asked for guidance from the universe, from my guides. Usually that involves putting out a request for help and then opening to receiving the guidance in whatever form it might take. In this instance I received a response immediately as if it had been right there waiting all along. The response was Daime, a form of Ayahausca from the Santo Daime tradition originating of Brazil.
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Becoming the Peaceful Warrior February 5, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Spirituality, blog , 1 comment so far
I’ve written about the warrior archetype and the way it is played out in a destructive way in our society today (See “The Warrior Archetype and the Reemergence of the Goddess“). Lately I’ve become more aware of the importance of this powerful archetype both for myself and the collective. You see for much of my life I’ve embodied the negative warrior both within and without. In my view, the negative warrior is characterized by aggression, defensiveness and destructiveness. Underlying this is vulnerability and fear, a soft underbelly that needs to be protected at all costs. The negative warrior feels isolated and separate and at war with the world as well as in a constant state of inner conflict. Aggression and defensiveness are the weapons of the negative warrior as he fights to protect an inner core of painful vulnerable feeling from anything that would threaten to expose it fearing that would bring his destruction. This inner core of feeling may have been created early in life by trauma that was never healed or by the experience of being punished for openly expressing emotion causing it to be repressed out of fear of that punishment as is so common in our culture.
Cultivating Joy January 24, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Spirituality, blog , 1 comment so far
I’ve been doing so much inner work lately that not only can it feel overwhelming but it can get pretty depressing at times even though confronting and integrating inner darkness and pain is necessary for healing and freedom. However I can get lost in the darkness and unconsciousness which is a risk in doing inner work and represents going to an extreme and becoming invested in the darkness that one is trying to illuminate and heal. At this point we can become cut off from the very element which will heal the darkness, Joy. I want to distinguish here between happiness and joy. I consider happiness to mean a good mood, basically feeling good usually in relation to pleasant conditions whether within or without. Happiness from this perspective is a temporary surface mind state. Joy on the other hand is much deeper than happiness, it is a blissful state that emanates from the core of our being, a reflection of our true nature. Joy is not dependent on conditions because it emerges from a place beyond conditions or the details of our life situation. Therefore joy is always accessible even when happiness is not. It is a profound sense of empowerment, calm and ok-ness even in the midst of chaos and turmoil.
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2010: The Year We Make Contact? January 19, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, Transformation, blog , 2comments
I’ve always been a strong believer in alien life because it seems absurd to me that in such a vast cosmos humans are the only intelligent life. In fact it seems egotistical and counter-intuitive. Over the years, I’ve seen objects in the sky that I could not identify, some of which might be explained rationally and some which defied explanation of any kind because they displayed characteristics that should be impossible. My sense is that we have been visited and continue to be visited to this day by alien species who have taken an interest in our development but who refrain from interference until a culture is ready. History is filled with references to visitors from above and they appear in the mythology and artwork of almost every culture. The question I’ve been asking myself lately is whether this may be the time when their existence is revealed on a large scale?
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Dazed and confused… January 12, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Transformation, blog , 2commentsI’m not sure what to say about today except that I feel absolutely confused in an intense emotional sort of way. It being my birthday might have a little to do with it but I doubt very much because I don’t really give two shits about the Gregorian slave calendar most of us are still using. Maybe I resent the part of me still submitting to this delusion we label time. I don’t know but whatever the case may be its so far been a day of frustration, confusion and anger. Not sure where I’m going or what to do with myself. My first reaction today in each situation and with each person has been anger, I’m pissed off and I don’t fucking care what anyone has to say about it. In fact I just want to say Fuck You to the world today. Maybe its a marginalized voice that needs to be aired or maybe its just a reflection of the darkness I’ve been working so hard to integrate lately. Knowing that I create my world I guess means I’m really saying Fuck YOU to myself.
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Avatar – A Message from the Goddess? January 5, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Divine Feminine/Goddess, Society, Spirituality, blog , 2comments
Having heard so much about the movie Avatar I finally went to see it today. I expected a decent sci-fi/fantasy film because I trust the people who recommended so strongly that I see it and I very rarely see mainstream movies anymore because I find most of them mind-numbing. I heard rave reviews from people and considerable criticism but I figured I should see for myself because I felt intuitively there was a reason to go see this particular movie.
Encountering the Zero Point January 2, 2010
Posted by bodhidude in : Transformation, blog , 4comments
As we enter the year we call 2010 on the Gregorian calendar, I find myself letting go of more layers of myself. I don’t really know how to describe it but parts of my life and identity continue to fall away. I don’t know who I am anymore. All my efforts to define who I am and what I do fall so far short that they now seem meaningless.
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2012 and Disaster Lust November 29, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, Transformation, blog , 8comments
It has been interesting over the last few years to watch the concept of 2012 emerge into mass consciousness and grow into the household word it is today. Given its popularity there are now a wide range of perceptions as to what meaning the 2012 date holds. As it has become more popular, I find it interesting but not surprising that it has assumed the projection of a destructive apocalyptic future. This is most clearly illustrated by the current blockbuster film “2012″ which I watched for the first time yesterday more out of curiosity than anything else.
“The Spiritual Nomad” October 28, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Spirituality, Transformation, blog , 1 comment so far
I recently read a post on Reality Sandwich entitled “The Spiritual Nomad”. In the article the author Lisa Renee describes a process that more and more people are experiencing after a spiritual awakening in which their life is turned upside down. I resonated with this article a great deal because it clearly described what I have been experiencing for the last two years and what several of my friends are going through now.
A Massive Wake Up Call October 22, 2009
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It is my belief that with the challenges facing us today what ultimately must happen for any real change to occur is a shift in consciousness or an awakening out of a collectively unconscious state. The level that our human collective conscious is currently operating on continues to allow things like war, hunger, environmental collapse, economic problems and more destructive processes to play out. I would even say that it is our collective as well as personal unconsciousness that fuels these things. Yet we still go about futilely trying to resolve them on an external level. Most (not all) of these efforts however don’t quite make it because we still have the issue of the level of consciousness on a mass scale not being able to support real change.
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The Age of the Goddess October 19, 2009
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A powerful trend is growing in our society as we move deeper into this time of transformation. It is becoming more and more clear to me that the changes we are experiencing involve the movement of the Divine Feminine into a more dominant role in the world and society. This is being reflected for me on both an inner and an outer level but it feels like it is a very powerful and important aspect of this transformative time.
A reflection on climate change October 15, 2009
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Today is the annual blog action day and this years topic is climate change. I’ve decided to participate in this action because climate change has become such a major issue and I think this is a good reminder to pause for a moment and reflect on what it means to us. As with any major issue there are many aspects to it, many views and in this case a good deal of fear because the estimates regarding the potential outcomes continue to become more grim. So I’m inviting you to reflect on climate change and what it brings up for you, what it means to you and how it impacts your life and your vision of the future.
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Becoming a Buddhist Pagan July 19, 2009
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My spiritual path has included many variations and explorations over the years including some not so intelligent forays into magic and the occult with unfortunate consequences. For more than 20 years my path has centered on Buddhism in one form or another. I have spent years practicing meditation in both the Zen and Tibetan traditions and I find Buddhist teachings and practices to be some of the most powerful medicine that exists today for healing on all levels of being.
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Joy July 3, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Creative, blog , add a comment
Yes to this moment as it is
Yes to the fear and pain
Yes to the pleasure
Yes to the confusion
Yes to life
Opening to this moment
Opening to possibility
Opening to love
Opening to abundance
Opening to life
Pausing in this moment
Pausing and appreciating
Pausing and feeling
Pausing and forgiving
Pausing and realizing the
sacredness of life
Expressing this moment
Expressing creativity
Expressing passion
Expressing pain
Expressing life
In joy in this moment the whole universe is held………
Resting in stillness in the midst of chaos April 28, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Spirituality, blog , 1 comment so far
How do you cope when you find your life in chaos? I’ve been experiencing increasing chaos in my life in many areas and its been interesting to notice my reaction to it. My process has involved trying to create a new livelihood so that I can create the resources I need in my life without sacrificing my heart. It has not been a easy process and the short term result has been very little money. My living situation is coming to an end this month so I’ve also had to deal with finding a new place to live with very little money. As a result my life feels like chaos, nothing stable, no stable work, no stable living space and no stable peace of mind.
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Turning it around, creating from the heart March 13, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, Transformation, blog , 1 comment so far
I’ve been working a lot with trying to balance the perceived need for money with what I really want to create in my life. In working with this I’m seeing how the process of creating has been reversed at least relative to the way I am choosing to do it now. The way I would do it before would be to focus on money first. I would need to make money usually by getting a job or doing some kind of work. The amount of money I was able to make which was always limited would then determine what resources I had access to which would also be limited. I’m seeing more clearly now the way this process is dysfunctional why it has involved struggle and lack.
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Survival March 9, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, Transformation, blog , 2comments
Now that I have left my job and chosen to pursue my heart path I am yet again directly up against the edge. One thing I always find at this edge is the fear of not being able to survive. Letting go of the world of career and work immediately brings up the fear that without that paycheck I won’t be able to survive, to eat to have shelter and clothing etc. Its ironic that making a choice to follow the heart leads to a question of survival but it shows how deeply ingrained the beliefs about security and material needs are in our society. In the old paradigm, following the heart and living in the moment is not taught to be a way to responsibly and effectively live life. Instead we are taught that we must sacrifice, struggle and make money if we want to have what we need and be ok in life, often at the expense of the heart and perhaps even our health and relationships.
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Holding on to a dead paradigm, and letting it go February 11, 2009
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The year 2008 marked the beginning of the current financial crisis. However I would say that what it truly marks is the beginning of the end of the capitalist, consumer based economy in the US and probably the world. Just like the fall of communism (what remains of communism today is like a more totalitarian version of capitalism especially in China) in the late 80s and early 90s, free market capitalism is a corrupt and purely dysfunctional approach to managing the resources of a society. It’s practices and ideology could be maintained for a long time and propped up by governments and central banks but the dysfunction inherent in the system is finally catching up and bringing us back to reality. Our system in its current state cannot be maintained indefinitely.
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The incredible power of Yoga February 9, 2009
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After considering it for many years about 2 months ago I began taking Vinyasa Yoga classes. It seems the time was finally right and my experience has been nothing short of transformative. I’ve been a spiritual practitioner for a long time but somehow my body never quite made it into my practice. Yoga has given me a new way to practice and engage the present moment. It has given me a way to get back in touch with my body, to fully inhabit and embrace my body and to more fully appreciate it. In doing Yoga practice I’m finding that as I work with the poses, flow and breath I’m finding stuck energy, tension and blockages in my body that correlate to inner processes involving things like fear, guilt, separation, vulnerability, and other emotional wounds. Working with these physical blockages is helping me access healing on a new dimension that is impacting my spiritual practice and path to awakening as a whole. The physical benefits of increased energy, flexibility and strength are pretty awesome as well. Its interesting that in the physical difficulty of many of the asanas I’m find an opportunity to surrender to the discomfort of this human form and thereby finding peace within pain. Quite a reflection for the rest of life and a lesson in how so much of the pain we feel is because we are fighting or resisting what is instead of accepting and relaxing into it.
Beyond that however is the deep power of Yoga to help me connect with the divine, with the universe. I’ve been introduced to Bhakti Yoga and the devotional practices it involves while not what I really got into Yoga for are really serving as a balance in my spiritual practice. A bright light of love, openness and connection amid the often painful process of illuminating and healing old wounds. This practice of Yoga really helps me remember the joy in being fully alive so I can appreciate this beautiful magical world we live in, in all its wonder and ordinariness. When I see the people here who have been doing this practice for some time it is evident by the love, peace and joy in their eyes and in their energy that they’ve really opened themselves to universal love. As one of my teachers points out, if we are breathing and present then all actions can be Yoga. I’m grateful for this incredible gift on my journey. May all beings benefit.
The power of I don't know February 7, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, Spirituality, Transformation, blog , add a commentThere is a great article on Reality Sandwich by Daniel Pinchbeck entitled “The Age of Uncertainty” (http://www.realitysandwich.com/age_uncertainty). It seems like I can find all the evidence I need to support opposite conclusions on almost every issue these days a few of which are mentioned in this article. But I think the I don’t know is the key because in my view reality is moving into a state of intense contradiction on one level. A state where the rational mind cannot figure things out in the ways that we felt it could in the past.
I don’t know has incredible personal meaning for me these days as I have needed to let go of relationship, work, ways of living and even many seemingly integral parts of my identity. I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t know what my future holds or even what to do with myself in terms of livelihood. But I’ve begun to see that I am being lead to embrace the I don’t know and let go of trying to figure it all out. The place of I don’t know is powerful because it contains immense potential but can also create intense fear because it involves learning to be ok with the unknown in a very direct way. The thing is I find that the more I embrace I don’t know and let go of trying to rationalize my way through life the more I am able to be present and connect to life in the here and now and I’m finding incredible peace and clarity in that. What to do and how to address life seems to emerge naturally from that place of peace and clarity and action becomes rooted in it instead of fear and confusion. Its so simple and subtle that it can be easily missed.
I’m starting to see the shifts happening now as a powerful force to move us beyond our addiction to thinking and the ego and into true presence putting the thinking mind in its place as one tool for higher consciousness to interact with the dualistic world. A tool but not the driving force of life. I think the new world or new paradigm has already begun to come into being, it just depends on where you choose to focus you attention because I see much suffering and destruction but I also see a great many people beginning to awaken and cast off old habits and ways of being. Its happening right now and the practice is the choice of putting our attention on the old and holding on or letting go and embracing the new, right now.
Another level of letting go February 2, 2009
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Jesus what a process this has been. Once more into the breech of the unknown. I met with some people from my community today to discuss our relationship with work, money, livelihood etc. I’ve come to realize two things very clearly. One is that I must fully let go of the old careers that have sustained me for so long – information technology and counseling. These are the ways that I know to make a living, to make money to pay the bills, to survive. But its completely clear now that their time has past. I’ve held on far too long now and have tried everything I can to make them work. Whether its a computer job or doing counseling work I just have no more passion for it and it won’t work anymore to fake it to bring in the cash, I’ve tried every way I know to drag it out. What I’ve realized is that on a deeper level I just need to let go, to allow these old approaches to fully fall away in order to make space for something new to emerge.
But that leads to the second thing that has become clear. I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know where the money and resources to sustain me will come from. I don’t know in which direction to go with my livelihood. I don’t even know who I am anymore on one level as what I do has been such a key part of my identity. I feel incredibly excited and yet incredibly terrified. My mantra has become I don’t know and I see now that I just need to surrender to that and allow myself to fully and completely not know. One person commented today how powerful a place not knowing can be because from that place all things are possible and I feel that too but its so scary. The fear is the unknown and the part of me that wants and needs to know kicking and screaming. For me the unknown is becoming a way of life more and more. I’m learning to appreciate it more and realizing that actually I never really did know what to expect or what was going to come next in life, I only imagined I did. This seems more clear, more authentic, not to pretend to know anymore but to surrender to not knowing and allow true heartfelt knowing to emerge naturally from the only place it can, the present moment. Here there is clarity and all is as it should be, nothing to figure out or worry about, just the awesome power of life unfolding in all its beautiful perfection.
A foot in two worlds January 30, 2009
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How do you move forward when you have one foot in an old paradigm and one foot in a new paradigm? That has become my koan lately and that’s the way its felt. I still have one foot in the old paradigm. The old paradigm being the world where ego and the rational mind leads the way, where I need to struggle and work hard to make ends meet, where I react to change and transition with fear and where I limit what comes to me to known channels or pathways. I also have one foot in the new paradigm. The new paradigm being the world where the heart leads the way and the rational mind is only a tool, where I no longer need to struggle because I live in abundance, where I allow life to flow naturally and don’t need to hold on, where I am open to the infinite pathways of creation so I am able to manifest what I need effortlessly and where I become an instrument through which the divine consciousness of the universe flows in service of the whole.
Quite different ways of looking at life and the world. This place of feeling caught between two worlds is quite painful. It feels like I engage in a creative process to dream up my life and then thoughts and fears come up that short circuit that creative dream. I can’t quite go back to the old way and think my way through, work at a job to make money, or hold on to people and situations. Believe me I’ve tried and these ways no longer work. Trying to figure things out results in confusion, trying to work at a job for the money brings problems and disempowerment, and trying to hold on to relationships causes them to fall away quicker. I can’t seem to fully step into the new way fully either although I can see more and more clearly what that might be like. I feel like I’m trying to shed a lifelong addiction or break the most stubborn habit, this way of existing in lack and separation where I’m always the victim of someone or something. I can’t buy into that anymore because I’ve seen through it but I also cannot seem to stop the habitual patterns that go along with it. I know from a spiritual point of view that this is a natural part of the path, when you see your unconscious patterns but they still have enough momentum that you can’t yet fully free yourself from them.
The practice of meditation and more importantly the practice of mindfulness in every activity does seem to be creating more and more awareness. I’m finding with that awareness I am seeing the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that keep me stuck in the old patterns of lack and fear. It is becoming a moment to moment practice of noticing a limiting thought or feeling in the moment, feeling it, letting it go and refocusing my attention in a creative direction. For example I see the end of my job coming and I feel fear and imagine struggling to pay the bills. When I realize this I can acknowledge that fear and then quickly let go of it and refocus my attention on what I want to create in place of the job, seeing myself having a full abundant life with all my needs met. These things come up constantly and it requires a good deal of awareness to illuminate them so they can’t continue to support the old way of being. I’m seeing that each time I feel, release and counteract such negative thoughts its like pulling a thread in the old way of being weakening it just a bit more. I can feel it collapsing around me and that brings up more fear, fear of the unknown or maybe fear of life in its full intense wholeness, fear to be released.
I think I’m ready to pull my foot out of the old paradigm and fully step into the new one.
Letting go of the need to control the dream January 25, 2009
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A recent article by a friend of mine entitled “One Great Dream of a Single Dreamer” (Click here for article) has helped me gain some clarity in my process of unfolding my life into the next stage. In the article Paul points out that our individual identities are ultimately an illusion being dreamed up by a universal consciousness. When we awaken to the illusion of our small self we become aware of our connection to and oneness with this universal consciousness or great dreamer. We could call it God, the universe, ultimate reality, the divine, a higher power, whatever you prefer but I think its all the same thing in that it is the greater I AM, who we truly are beneath our surface identity.
My process recently has been to work with manifesting my life using the power of awareness, intention and visualization so as to creatively guide myself along a heart focused path and create a life that reflects a more conscious direction. I think one of the challenges in this process at least for me is that in embracing the perspective that I create my reality and have the power to manifest the life I choose, it can easily become the small or egoic self that is hijacking the path as means of regaining control. Paul points out in the article that if we think that awakening is going to mean we can become billionaires or gain some kind of status we are still subtlety enmeshed in an illusion. If we instead surrender our surface desires and allow the divine to work through us we naturally flow where we are needed in life and our life itself becomes a service to the greater good.
To be more clear this feels like another step in really following the heart where the ego finally has to accept that it is taking a back seat and is not in control. Opening fully to the divine and freely allowing it to work through us moves us into what we need to be doing right now, who we need to be with right now and brings us everything we need in life even if it doesn’t necessarily satisfy our ego desires. I have a sense that this is real fulfillment, real purpose, real peace. The practice becomes cultivating enough awareness to recognize when the ego is coming in and trying to redirect the creative process to self serving needs and then refocusing on the present moment and the direct experience of our truth and our power. I see this clarification as reflecting why I’ve had trouble creating my dream recently, I see that I haven’t fully let go of the need to control the dream. I’ve been able to create some amazing things but they haven’t really seemed fulfilling in the end and I now see that its because I have become more adept at creating but what I chose to create was still coming from ego. Even when we are able to create from this level it doesn’t really bring us happiness because of its limited scope. I don’t think this means that we shouldn’t want or enjoy things in life like money, material possessions or sexual experiences but I think its a reminder to remember their limitations and make our primary focus something deeper.
Mindfulness and abundance January 22, 2009
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What does washing the dishes have to do with creating what I want in my life and being happy? Well everything it seems. I’ve embraced the concept of abundance for some time now believing that we have the power to create what we choose to create in our lives because we live in an abundant universe from which we are not separate and it is through the power of our attention and intention that we can transform abundance into form. However sometimes it seems so damned elusive. I believe it and on some deep level I know it but it seems like a very different thing to actually put it into practice on a daily basis to create the resources I need to survive and flourish without sacrificing my truth and my path, well actually without sacrificing my heart. It has been a painful process of trial and error.
Lately I’ve come to realize more just how simple this whole thing really is. The question keeps coming to mind of if I don’t feel like I can access abundance what is it that is cutting me off from it? The answer for me seems to be disconnection from the present moment and addiction to compulsive thinking. I noticed that when I am feeling fearful, limited, unsuccessful or just plain confused and crazy I am always lost in my head and not in touch with the present. I have been swept away by a train of thoughts and feelings which are a part of a habitual pattern of lack and fear and come up consistently and powerfully.
The simple practice of realizing that I am lost in my head and then coming back to the present almost always dispels the fear and anxiety and negative thoughts and emotions provided I leave space to acknowledge and feel them without judgment. What I find when I become present is peace, simplicity, clarity and power. The only thing is there is a powerful habitual pattern of not being present, being addicted to compulsive thinking and worrying so it becomes a constant practice of mindfulness. In Zen this is known as doing one thing at a time with our whole body and mind. When you do the dishes just do the dishes rather than planning your entire day at the same time and not giving much attention to the action you are in the middle of.
This seems a bit ridiculous at first because why would you want to give all your attention to something so mundane as doing the dishes? The answer is because that is what is happening right now and right now is where your power is, where life is. Doing the dishes is only mundane and trivial from an ego centered point of view, its just an everyday task, a means to an end. But from the perspective of complete presence it is a manifestation of life, of consciousness in action and it is beautiful. From this perspective everything is sacred and filled with wonder and power, if we just pay attention. In the moment there is clarity, the problem we can figure out becomes clear in stillness and we find we already knew the solution.
This translates into a very simple yet powerful practice of mindfulness, just paying attention to right now. Its amazing that when you really do that the problems of life begin to dissolve. Its not that there is no suffering and difficulty, there is, but it just isn’t so much of a problem anymore and how to address it is clear. To become present however requires that we surrender to our experience right now because if we are resisting what is we cannot become fully present. The resistance creates separation and we are cut off from our power and left in a painful state of confusion. With surrender we let go of resistance to what is and become present and ironically then we can see clearly how to change things if they need changing and its within our power. But whether we can change an external situation or not we can always find a state of peace inside by accepting what is and having an open full and harmonious relationship with right now…….
Struggle and conflict January 10, 2009
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, Psychology, Spirituality, blog , add a commentIts interesting how patterns come and go in life and its also interesting how intense the rate and degree of change has gotten for many people. I came out of last year feeling pretty good, having created a new place to live, a new job and a new deeper commitment to practice. What I’ve experienced in the last few days can only be described as a tidal wave of energy uprooting my life yet again. What I didn’t realize was that in creating these things as wonderful as they were, they were also reflecting old patterns and I found that I created an illusion for myself. The illusion being imagined stability and peace in these things that I created. I felt grounded and stable and imagined this could be maintained in its current form for some time. I know better than that but not recently it seems.
What I didn’t realize is the process of change and growth that I have undertaken would not allow me to grasp on to these things in ways that I would in the past. In my job I created the perfect environment in which to do computer work. A worldwide Buddhist organization devoted to teaching and charitable work with an office that is as peaceful and conscious as I’ve ever experienced. A wonderful boss who seems to actually care about my happiness and well being, not something I’ve ever experienced in the workplace before. But this perfect environment essentially highlighted what I’ve been having so much trouble accepting for so long. I don’t feel called to do technology work anymore. No matter how much I try I simply cannot find any passion or interest for it. This is quite frustrating because I am very good at it and have more than 10 years of experience so it seems like the ideal way to make money and offer service. But its not to be anymore, this job has helped me see that, if I can’t do this work here then I can’t do it anywhere. So time to let go and face the edge again, if not technology work then I don’t know how I will pay the bills, its the unknown. Nothing to do but trust.
My living situation is similar in that I thought, great I’ve got a cool stable place for six months and then I’ll move on to something else. But its been anything but stable, with two roommates moving out in the first 2 months, utter chaos. Now come to find out that the landlords want us to pay the rent on any unrented rooms, so much for having a budget or knowing what to expect financially. Not sure how this will be resolved yet but there certainly seems to be no stability to be found here.
More than these things I’ve felt lately like I’m in conflict with everyone and everything. Like its an unending onslaught of problems, difficulties and interpersonal issues. I know I’m creating this buts its been absolutely exhausting. In group the other night it became clear that part of it at least is that I am feeling a great deal and not really allowing the emotion to flow. Feeling a lot around all the change and chaos, feeling a lot around my friend Sheleigh moving away to Arizona, feeling a lot about facing my fears of creating right livelihood, dealing with more change and attachment with my friend Kara, facing my fears and desires around relationship and on and on. There is a lot to feel but I’m still working on letting it flow, well really with letting everything in my life flow without grasping on so tightly. It hurts. Its terrifying. Its sad. And its also wonderful, freeing and filled with joy.
My practice has deepened which I know often brings more unconscious processes and feelings to the surface. It can cause a resurfacing of old patterns allowing them to be illuminated, felt and released yet again, another layer of the onion to peel away. Its a pretty intense time right now and I sometimes wonder if I will make it through but then again I know I will. My old Zen teacher Diado Roshi says that the process involves facing the edge and pushing it then inevitably pulling back into old forms of imagined safety, old patterns and then seeing that they don’t work and again facing and pushing the edge. A flow, no problem if you don’t try to hold on. Let go……..always.
Nurturing Ourselves November 16, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Healing, Psychology, Spirituality, blog , 2commentsI was spending time with a friend this evening and we were talking about nurturing ourselves and it occurred to me that nurturing myself has become a core practice. It seems that so often discontent and suffering comes from seeking to be nurtured from an external source rather than an internal one. Not that other people, things and situations cannot be nurturing but they really aren’t that satisfying if we aren’t first nurturing ourselves. So what do I mean by nurturing? I guess I mean taking responsibility for my own happiness, peace and well being and doing things to cultivate that in my life. Seeing that ultimately these things comes from within, others can share them and reflect them but cannot give them to us if we are not in touch with them in ourselves. In fact if we are not nurturing ourselves then we may seek it from others which makes our relationships problematic because we’re seeking things from people that they cannot give us and seeing them through the filter of our needs. That results in not being able to be in relationship with them fully as individuals and is quite unfulfilling.
I find that nurturing is a good way to look at each moment because in each moment I can ask myself the question, am I nurturing myself in this moment? Is what I’m doing right now serving my highest good. If I’m not I then have the opportunity to look at what I’m doing and refocus my attention in a new direction. It brings up the question of if anything in our lives does not nurture us why do we make it a part of our life. If my job does not bring me happiness, peace and well-being why am I there? Do I really need to be in a job that doesn’t. If a relationship doesn’t nurture me why am I in it? What am I getting out of such a relationship and what am I offering to the other person? I think if we nurture ourselves then we will draw in jobs, relationships, living situations and other things that nurture us because those external things will reflect what we are already doing for ourselves internally. This goes along with the idea that if you want to create something externally you must first make it a reality inside. The external world reflects the internal.
I was talking to my client today about keeping things really simple in working with our minds and I realized that nurturing ourselves is ultimately very simple because to do so all we really have to do is stop and become present, enter the now and touch the fullness, beauty and power of LIFE and we will realize that we’ve never been anything but nurtured. So maybe you could say its more like remembering our true nurtured self. I’m loving the simplicity.
Giving our power away and taking it back – Bush and Obama as reflections November 12, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, blog , add a commentWith the election of Barack Obama and a new person assuming the role of president its interesting to look back on the years of Bush and reflect on just what we have been dreaming up. I’ve become mostly interested in this contemplation from the perspective of personal power, to what degree have we been empowered or disempowered as co-creators of our society and larger reality?
In my view President Bush was the ultimate and most extreme representation of a society that had given its power away. Bush in so many of his qualities and actions personified this especially in his disregard for the opinions of anyone that disagreed with him and in his incredible abuses of power with very few consequences. I mean I don’t know if you remember Bush publicly admitting that he broke the law with the warrantless wiretapping decision basically saying – yeah I broke the law, so what, what are you going to do about it? That’s a powerful reflection of an incredible imbalance and just how blatant it became. With all the incompetence, abuses and callousness of the Bush administration many people clearly began to feel hopeless and feeling powerless to do anything to change the course we were on.
So maybe we hit bottom with Bush and from this bottom the Obama campaign was born. Obama’s campaign drew on a mass of grassroots power and enthusiasm like no campaign in the history of this country. The statement on Obama’s website whether you take it seriously or not is a reflection of that – “I’m asking you to believe, not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington, I’m asking you to believe in yours.” That statement is asking us to believe in our ability to bring real change. I think that speaks to the heart of the matter and the key in all of this. Do we believe that we have the power to bring about real change, both internally within our own lives and externally in the larger society?
I think it is important also to contemplate all of this in relationship with the deeper process of transformation that is happening now especially in these last few years before 2012. From my perspective we seem to have made a shift to dreaming up change on a large scale, a black president whose message centered on change and personal power. Wow! You may be skeptical and so am I in many ways but this also resonates for me and seems to fit into a larger pattern. It feels optimistic to me to think that whether we actually see real change manifested has far less to do with Barack Obama and his new administration and far more to do with us and what we choose to do with our power. Power that can never really be taken away by anyone, only temporarily forgotten about.
Co-creating change November 8, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, Transformation, blog , add a commentWe’ve experienced a historic moment in this country with the election of our first black president. That fact alone is transformational with our long history of racism, segregation and inequality. It changes the collective personality of the nation and potentially opens the door for greater and deeper healing around the issue of race. On election night the celebrations were spectacular and incredible as they should have been however now that the election is over and Barack Obama is President-elect the question becomes what happens to the incredible energy that fueled his campaign? The energy of hope, empowerment and change which so many people helped to create. Does it continue to evolve and grow to usher in fully manifested transformation or does it fizzle out in disappointment as politics as usual takes on one more mask?
I think the answer to that question depends on you and I and what we do and how we choose to participate in co-creating the change we want to see. Can we actively envision it or do we give in to pessimism? Do we truly believe its possible and inevitable or just a nice dream that we embraced for a short time before returning to a harsher reality? Will we consistently and enthusiastically work for it or will we give our power away to people in Washington (or somewhere else) to do it for us? And finally will we look inward to illuminate the ways that we have participated in creating what we don’t want to see in the world or will we assign blame to someone else or some other group?
I’ve read a lot about Barack Obama and studied his record and I can find all the evidence I need to support the idea that he is a fake, a corporatist who comes in a prettier package but has no interest in real transformation. I can also find plenty of evidence to suggest he is a thoughtful, passionate, skillful person who genuinely cares about this country and the people in it. Which is true? niether? both? Who knows, I sure don’t. But I think that in the role of president at this critical point in history ultimately Barack Obama will be who we dream him up to be on a collective scale. He can be a lighter kinder and more insidious version of Bush or he can be a figure to channel real change and transformation or something in between, its up to us. We will have to dream him up, we will have to hold him accountable and not accept anything less than true transformation and we will have to take full responsibility for our part in the process.
We have the power if we only realize it and use it……
Dreaming up a new president… November 4, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, blog , add a commentWell as we go into election day tomorrow it seems as if Barack Obama may actually win. But even if he does win what does that really mean? Will he or can he bring about true change. I’m skeptical. Why? Because you can find a great deal of evidence that Obama despite his obvious intelligence and charm is a typical (even though more cool) politician. He has voted for some questionable bills in the senate most notably to extend FISA and not hold the telecom companies accountable for their complicity in violating the privacy of American’s. He has said he would end the war in Iraq but his plan leaves troops in Iraq for some time to come although at low levels but he has vowed to escalate the war in Afghanistan and to defend Isreal militarily. So just how much and what kind of change would Obama really bring? Much more than McCain no doubt but what we need right now is nothing short of a paradigm shift. Rewinding back to a Clinton type presidency isn’t going to make things better, its part of how we got to where we are now.
But from another perspective focusing on Barack Obama the man may be a limiting point of view. Whatever Obama’s record, beliefs and history are he is stepping into a new role as president, an archetypal role. As such he is the receiver of our dream, of our projections, good and bad on a grand scale. I’m more interested in the viewpoint of if Obama wins and becomes president how do I want to dream him up and how do I envision the change that he has come to represent to so many people. One thing is certain to me, Obama in and of himself has no power to effect change and if people externalize their power on to him they will very likely be disappointed. However if we accept our responsibility to create the change we want to see and dream up Obama as a figure to represent and carry that change on the national stage we may be able to dream him up as the transformational figure so many hope for him to be. The key though in my view is not hope despite Obama’s campaign slogans, the key is conscious co-creation by every single one of us. Not just by voting if we choose to do that but by accepting our role in the change and by not giving our power away to any external figure no matter how good they may look. Whatever you think of Obama he is a powerful figure, he has mobilized enormous energy and that energy can be harnessed for true change if its directed consciously. I plan to help do just that.
The false financial crisis and the robbing of America September 20, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, blog , add a commentThe events of this month have been very interesting from Hurricane Ike to the financial crisis to the unfolding of the election. While there were no obvious terrorist attacks on 9/11 this year the so-called financial crisis sure seems like a terrorist attack on our wallets. Many people have said that the apparent failure of these major financial institutions including Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers, AIG not to mention Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac a few weeks ago reflects irresponsible capitalism and mismanagement by the federal government. Well I’m seeing it in a bit of a different light.
We’ve seen an accelerating policy of extremist capitalism for some time now which has included the erosion or outright repeal of many safeguards put in place during the New Deal. This especially includes the repeal of the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933, which effectively separated investment banks and commercial banks that hold consumers personal accounts. We’ve also seen an almost complete lack of regulation and enforcement of conflicts of interest between financial companies such as the Bank of America acquisition of Merrill Lynch, two types of companies that were supposed to be explicitly forbidden from merging due to a conflict of interest in their missions and the resulting risk to individuals. Business on Wall Street has become so corrupt that you could honestly classify it as organized crime. That’s just the point; these companies have gone bankrupt due to the transfer of funds to the wealthy elite. But they are not being allowed to fail, instead the federal government is going to bail them out which of course means that you and I pay for it. The government bail out is said to exceed 700 Billion. The average American has skillfully and effectively been robbed blind and is seeing the government as a savior when it is really just the other side of the same criminal organization. It is a systematic transfer of wealth.
The current system is rotten to the core. Just like in 1929 because of the lack of separation between commercial banks and investment firms the average American’s assets are directly at risk from the corrupt practices of Wall Street speculators. We may be on the verge of another great depression but this is all engineered at a higher level. It’s a cyclical process of harvesting the wealth of the people and transferring it to an elite group. That’s what our economy essentially is. We’re manipulated with our desires and needs to buy into this process and then kept locked into it with fear, fear of losing what little security we think we’ve managed to create. It’s a false sense of security however because its based on something we ultimately have no control over and most likely don’t even understand and this is how it enslaves us.
We ultimately cannot blame the government however or even the crooks on Wall Street. The people share in the responsibility for this because we have allowed it to happen, we have allowed these thieves to take our money over and over again. We do it every time we pay the illegal federal income tax for which there is absolutely no law mandating. We do it by purchasing the garbage products that the corporations manipulate us into thinking we need or want. We do it by voting for politicians who support this whole mess. Most people don’t know what they are doing though. This is why the time has come to take back our power and to say no to this dysfunctional system. This is something we can do quite effectively and we don’t need any politician or leader to do it for us. We can vote with our money and our effort. We can buy local and boycott the corporations. We can support non-corporate candidates who see the corruption and want to truly fix it. We can cease paying illegal taxes that go into the pockets of the international bankers and demand the extortion around this stop. We can educate our friends and family as to what is going on and the effect it is having on them. We can change all of this we just need to take our power back and come together. Most importantly we can refuse to buy into the fear and instead focus our energy and attention on creating a more healthy supportive economic reality.
The timing of the present financial spectacle is also very interesting in terms of its correspondence with Hurricane Ike. In watching coverage of Hurricane Ike I noticed that it seemed to be covered fairly thoroughly by the corporate media before and just as the Hurricane hit. Just after the Hurricane it seemed to me that the degree of national coverage got diverted. I saw more coverage of the election than I would have imagined at a time of national disaster. I did learn about how cool Sarah Palin’s glasses were however. Then shortly thereafter, the financial crisis seemed to hijack the news further diverting coverage of the hurricane. I’ve heard from local news both corporate and independent as well as individuals down in Texas that the destruction is far worse than is being covered, as is the government’s response. Some are saying the media is being deliberately kept out of many areas and supplies are slow to come if at all. Sounds like Katrina to me and it also sounds convenient that there are so many distractions for the media so we don’t see the kind of coverage we saw of Katrina which was quite an embarrassment for the powers that be. The powers that be may not be able to create hurricanes but they certainly can control the timing of long standing problems in financial institutions becoming public.
There is a lot going on right now and I think we all need to pay close attention, look under the surface and see the interrelationships of all that is happening so we can be positive agents of change.
The Engine of Personal Creation August 23, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, Spirituality, Transformation, blog , 1 comment so far
In choosing to take responsibility for my experience and create the reality that I desire I’ve studied quite a bit of material on manifestation and how our external world reflects our internal experience. I fully believe that I have created everything that I experience in my life so its been a process of trying to understand how I’ve done it and with that understanding be able to do it more consciously. Needless to say its been a frustrating process at times and at other times quite incredible. From this point of view our external world is a reflection of what we think, imagine, feel and believe. If we want a mirror of the beliefs and thought patterns we have held in the past we need only look at our life as it is right now. If we don’t like what we see we can change it by illuminating the inner processes that created what we don’t want and put our energy into imagining and embodying what we do want to see in our outer world.
So how do we take something we wish to create from an idea into a physical reality? For me it starts with knowing what I want to create and making an intention out of it. This is the first step that makes the declaration to the universe that I’m engaging in an act of creation and this is what I want to create whether it be a relationship, money, a new computer, health, peace or whatever. From here I begin to create a vision, a mental picture of just what my creation looks like with as many details as possible including what it looks like visually, what it sounds like, smells like, feels like etc. This may just be happening in the mind but if external experience reflects internal as I believe then we are engaging in a process of giving external reality something new to reflect. The imagination is powerful and with it we can experience almost any quality of what we want to create.
The mental image or vision is not enough however because a vision alone lacks the power to create a physical form. This is where it can get challenging due to our habitual patterns, fears and doubts. What we need to do is infuse our vision with emotional energy. We take all the details we imagined when we created our image and feel that our creation is already manifested, that it is here now, its already complete. This would definitely feel a certain way. If I wanted to create a relationship it would involve a lot of feeling to actually have that relationship, to be in it and experiencing it. We have the power to imagine this. This is the process of fully stepping into our vision and making it a reality for us. If it is a reality at all levels inside then our external experience will have to reflect that. We focus on the end result and feel that it is completely real and present in our life now. We don’t focus on how it will come to pass, we focus on it as already present. This allows us to be open to the unlimited channels that something can come to us through rather than limiting it to just the ones we know or can imagine. The process of creation has the potential to be infinite if we allow it to be. If I can only imagine creating money through a job then my experience will reflect that by only bringing money into my life through a job rather than it being open to infinite sources of wealth that I may not be able to imagine at the moment.
The challenge here is often that we don’t really believe in our vision at a deeper level and so aren’t able to fully feel and experience its presence. Therefore we aren’t able to infuse it with sufficient energy to complete the creative process. It can help here to illuminate the doubts and fears that get in the way and allow ourselves to look at them and release them. It can also be helpful to study the creative manifestation process in depth so we can build confidence in it and understand how it works. We can then find examples in our lives of how we have already manifested things, both things we wanted and did not want because we are creating our experience all the time its just usually unconscious and haphazard. The process works whether it is conscious or not and we can equally bring positive healthy forms into being as we can negative destructive forms. The motivation behind our vision and the quality of energy that we infuse it with will determine the quality and effect of the resulting creation.
If your intention is to create money in your life it is helpful to look into where that intention is coming from. What part of your consciousness the vision comes from also determines what quality of emotional energy will be needed to activate and empower it. If I build a vision of more money in my life to acquire possessions, buy a car as a status symbol and impress women the quality of energy that will be compatible with this vision is going to be a denser emotional energy such as greed or a visceral form of pleasure. If I envision money to help my friends, meet my basic needs and support charitable causes it will likely be compatible with a lighter vibration of energy such as joy and peace. There is no judgement in this in terms of what ones motivation should be or what is right to create and what is not. It is simply necessary to know where ones desires originate from and the emotional energy that is most appropriate to empower them. This is where people can feel that the process doesn’t work because the energy infusing the vision is insufficient or not compatible with it so it does not produce the desired result. The kind of emotional energy we need to manifest a vision is the same kind of emotional energy that is present when we experience that vision as a physical reality. The key in this process is the ability to step into the vision of what one wants to create fully and experience all elements of it in the present moment. When you embody your vision fully in this way your outer world must reflect it because it becomes what you are projecting “out there”.
Dear Mr. president August 18, 2008
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Dear Mr. president
I’m writing to let you know that I’m taking back my power. For a long time I believed that I was helpless to do anything to change this world. Then I believed I was helpless to stop you and those like you from destroying it. But more recently I realized that it was I who was destroying this world by giving my power away and unconsciously playing the role of a victim. You see I now know that you have no power to rule this world, you only have the power that people have unconsciously given to you. They of course do not know they are doing this but I have realized it and so I’m taking my power back.
I’m taking my power back by taking back my attention. No longer will I allow my attention to be focused on the stories of the past, current distractions or the fear of a dismal future. Instead I will choose where I put my attention. I won’t watch your TV or listen to your radio or any other propaganda. I won’t fill my mind with your unconscious mass media or buy your garbage products. I won’t pollute my planet with your toxins or my body with your poisonous drugs and genetically modified food. I won’t fight in your wars or hate my fellow man because he believes differently than I do. I won’t vote in your fraudulent elections or fall for your illusions of freedom. I won’t pay your illegal taxes or help you take away our remaining freedoms. I won’t put my money into your corporations or give it to your banks. Like I said before I’m taking back my power, all of it. You won’t be able to prevent this because no amount of darkness and repression can stop the illumination of light and consciousness.
I’m putting my attention on the now, the present moment and tapping into the power of life. I’m assuming my role as the creator of my reality and no longer playing the victim. I’m spending my time expanding my consciousness and helping my fellow man. I will nurture my body with local organic healthy foods and natural medicines. I will promote and support local business and green technologies. I will be aware of what I put into my mind and get my entertainment from sources that truly educate and empower me. I will embody peace and cooperation and build community. And I will help and encourage others to do these things too and take their power back.
I don’t blame you for trying to destroy this world and enslave us because you are a part of me and I gave you my power. We are interconnected and when we take back our power you will no longer be able to do the things you have been doing but in losing that you will also gain your true power, the power of life. I will no longer create separation because I know its an illusion. We are all interconnected and so what we do to each other we do to ourselves and all creation.
I’m taking back my power and taking responsibility for changing myself and my world.
Just thought you should know.
Be in peace
Colin
Personal Power: Beyond Hope and Hopelessness August 3, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Spirituality, Transformation, blog , add a comment
I’ve thought a lot about hope and hopelessness lately in light of my process of inner growth and also with respect to what is going on in the world. I know many people feel hopeless about the direction the world is taking as well as with their own life situation. They feel helpless to do anything to change it and frustrated that they can’t seem to create what they want and I know how they feel. On the other hand, I know people who feel a sense of hope that things will be ok and will be transformed. I see this especially with spiritually minded people and people who are into things like 2012 and other viewpoints that see a positive future.
For me however, both hope and hopelessness are two poles of the same continuum of powerlessness. In looking at this in my own experience and those around me I see two common elements of both hope and hopelessness. The first is giving away ones power and the second is focusing on the future at the expense of the present. When we feel hopeless we usually feel powerless to change an experience we do not want. We basically don’t want what the present moment consists of and we extend that into the future feeling as if we have no power to create something different. A hopeful feeling is similar in the sense that hope usually focuses on the future. We have hope that things will get better or change , in the future, because if they were the way we wanted right now there would be nothing to hope for. By hoping for a positive future outcome we are saying we are powerless to create this desired outcome now and so need to hope that it occurs in some imagined future by some unknown means. Hope and hopelessness are the same from this viewpoint expect in imagined quality of their outcome.
The future, whether we fear it or hope for it in a positive way does not exist. It is simply a thought mixed with various emotions in the present. Putting our hopes or fears into the future results in us giving away our power because our power, the essence of who we are exists only in the present. Nothing is ever accomplished except in the present. If you put something off until tomorrow you will still have to accomplish it in the present if it is to be accomplished. What I’m working on in my practice is letting go of the past and the future and putting as much of my attention and energy as possible into right now. I find it incredibly empowering and when I am able to be fully present there is no hope or hopelessness, there is only now and all the power and possibility that it contains. The present moment is not always pleasurable but it is always powerful and alive. If we can accept the natural suffering of life when it is present instead of fighting or avoiding it we have the opportunity in that acceptance to go deeper and experience real peace and power. To be free of pain and pleasure, good and bad, right and wrong and the whole dualistic delusion. If something needs to be done we know exactly what to do and when to do it because we function from a place of clarity and power. We are fully alive and a participant in life.
Die before you die July 7, 2008
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Eckhart Tolle says ”
The secret of life is – to die before you die – and find that there is no death… ”
This is an incredibly profound statement. I’ve been contemplating and working with it a lot lately and it seems that it contains the wisdom of immortality. To die before you die in my view means to walk the spiritual path and in walking the spiritual path to realize that ultimately you are not your mind, your ego, your identity or your body. These things constitute who your are in a relative sense but not in an ultimate sense because they are constantly changing or fluctuating. Of course these are aspects of us that we tend to be quite identified with, that is, believing they are truly who we are. The fact that these things constantly change leads to insecurity if we are fully identified with them because our sense of self is unstable and we try to compensate by looking for that stability in an infinite number of external things which are equally unstable. Relationships, money, status, jobs, success, knowledge, beliefs all eventually let us down because they are changing forms too. When the time of death comes these things will inevitably dissolve and if they represent the totality of who we are then we will indeed die and our existence will be at an end.
However at least for me a simple practice illuminates that these things do not represent who I truly am. That is the practice of sitting meditation and mindfulness. In doing these practices one can focus on being aware of the process of the mind and its flow of thoughts and emotions. In observing the mind you get a sense that there is the part of you that is thinking and the part of you that is aware of the thinking and observing it. This inner watcher or observer is simply raw awareness or consciousness. In doing sitting meditation or just practicing observation in the moment over time you can become less identified with mind and external form and more identified with simple awareness. This represents a great shift, a great sense of peace and a kind of death. The death of the ego as the sum total of who you are. You are aware of yourself as the raw I AM and this alive presence is that which transcends death. If we can practice being in touch with raw presence or being in each moment then death becomes simply a process of form dissolving, as form is always doing all around us. The aliveness in us is beyond form and therefore not subject to decay and death. We enjoy a sense of deep peace that is independent of what happens in our life, it is constant and unchanging, a radiant light that shines through our experience. When we are happy it is there and when we are unhappy it is there. It is always there in the present moment if we pay attention and don’t allow ourselves to get lost in the dream of this world and our temporary selves.
The Wandering Yogi 5: Acceptance and the Now June 28, 2008
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Acceptance is often a term one encounters in spiritual practice and in other areas of personal growth. It is certainly a term I have heard many times and a concept that I thought I had an understanding of. However conceptual understanding of acceptance does not produce much transformation and for me lately my practice with acceptance has become more experiential. Acceptance has often been something I have struggled with because if what was happening was not to my liking it felt like accepting it would be perpetuating it or inviting more of it. If I accepted that I didn’t have much money I would be validating it and ensuring that I would continue to be broke. So instead of accepting I unconsciously resisted and fought my experience when it seemed to be hostile or negative. What I didn’t realize is that the very act of resisting it is what made it hostile or aversive. In other words the external situation was not really negative but just what it was, instead my unconscious judgment was that it was negative and my resistance to it caused it to resist back further validating my perception. Resistance to anything seems to create a counter force in the opposite direction. But this fails to take into account that I am the source of my experience so when I am fighting or resisting what is I am creating separation between myself and life, imagining that the qualities I experience in the situation are inherent to it rather than my projection.
The way to really see this process first hand is by practicing acceptance. When I began to truly accept what is, accept the present moment the resistance and fighting dissolved and I could see things with greater clarity. Things didn’t seem as hostile or aversive anymore. I also realized that acceptance does not mean that we continue to create the same experience over and over by condoning it or become passive. Not at all. It means that by not resisting what is we become free to change it if that change is needed and if change is needed we will be able to see clearly just what needs to change and how to accomplish the change because our action comes out of spaciousness and the joy of being ok with the present moment. When we are resisting what is our action has the quality of coming out of that resistance and so produces results similar to it in quality which is not usually any better than what we were resisting in the first place.
What it comes down to for me is that if I first accept or surrender to what is I become fully present and in touch with my experience and therefore my power. I realized that I have created my experience in this moment and it cannot be other than what it is but by accepting it and taking my power back I have the ability to create something different if thats called for. By accepting what is I become truly free because there is a deep source of peace that is allowed to shine through the experience of the moment when we are surrendered to it. That source of peace is pure consciousness, the divine, the unmanifest, emptiness or whatever you prefer to label it and it is the source of everything. The only place to find it is right here right now.
Happiness vs Peace June 18, 2008
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In my practice lately one distinction that is becoming more clear and at the same time up leveling my experience is the experience of peace compared to that of happiness. So much of my life has been spent seeking happiness at first externally but more recently internally. Wishing happiness for myself and others as well and working to create it wherever and whenever possible. I began to adopt the perspective that instead of anything out there creating my happiness I am the creator of it and thus its source is within. That shift from an external source of happiness to an internal one was quite powerful. However I’m beginning to see the focus on happiness itself as an obstacle because it still seems connected to the world of form whether its external forms such as people, money or experiences or internal forms such as an identity, a happy state of mind or conceptual ideas of love and compassion. This is still quite a limited experience and since it is still connected with the world of form it remains transient and subject to its opposite.
What now seems more powerful and freeing is peace. The deep peace that comes from being fully present, being connected with present experience without judgment, resistance or avoidance. The deep peace that in the stillness when thought has subsided and the mind is at rest shines through from the very core of being, the divine. From here happiness even in its most noble and selfless forms seems shallow and trivial. It still feels good but more like a passing shadow on the surface of consciousness. Pain and suffering too when one is connected with being still hurt but are seen as equally surface and temporary and are permeated with this energy of peace. For me this makes the temporary states of happiness and pain far less important, they are still necessary experiences and I sometimes get caught up in them but they just don’t seem worthy of very much attention anymore.
The seeking of happiness and the avoidance or resistance to pain consume so much energy, its amazing to feel that deep sense of peace from the level of being when I’m able to let that go for a time.
The Wandering Yogi 4: Surrender June 16, 2008
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I seem to have reached a new stage lately with my process of transition and transformation. Until recently so much of it has been an experience of fear and anxiety, of self doubt and judgment and feeling like a victim even though I consciously chose to take the path of renunciation. Lately however those negative emotions which I realize needed to play out as part of this process have begun to subside somewhat. What has begun to shift the experience is surrender. I’ve reached a point of surrender to my in the moment experience, a place of completely accepting what is and that subtle shift in perspective has changed things significantly. It has transformed the experience from one of fear and confusion to one of joy and freedom. I feel like I’m no longer fighting or resisting so much. I now feel the limitless possibility of where I’m at and realize my ability to build a new outer experience from here that mirrors much more clearly my inner purpose of awakening. The idea of surrender is that as long as you are fighting what is, the now or the present moment, you are disconnected from being or from the divine because the present moment is the only way to access it. When you surrender to what is you immediately reconnect with being or spirit and all possibilities become available again. It does not mean that you remain in a situation that is not serving you but only that you no longer fight it and by not fighting it are able to see clearly what action needs to be taken if any. I continue to practice this in each moment.
One final note, I cannot recommend highly enough the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. He is in my view a true spiritual teachers who expresses universal truths in words that speak directly to a higher part of us and in a way that is easy to understand. His teachings along with regular Zen practice has upleveled my practice tremendously.
Who is the dreamer? June 8, 2008
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I’ve often engaged in the contemplation that this life is a dream and the enlightenment process is awakening from the dream and realizing it to be a dream thereby ceasing to identify with it as solid and inherently real. So from this perspective what is the dream? The dream is the fluctuating constantly changing world of form in which we live. Just like in a night dream when we don’t realize we are dreaming we are swept up in the content of the dream and so react to that content as if it were solid and real. When we become lucid in the dream we realize that we are dreaming while still in the dream. This realization allows us to cease identifying with the content of the dream and instead identify with the dreamer. We realize we are creating the dream and therefore can choose to end it, change it or engage it. We take back our power from the illusory dream.
If we think of waking life a denser version of dream although equally illusory and lacking inherent existence we can cease to identify with the waking dream of form and instead identify with the dreamer who is aware of it. Recently I was reading from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth and he brings up the question of just who is the dreamer from this perspective. The dreamer is not me, the “I” or my sense of self because when I wake up from the dream and cease to identify with the world of form my “self” is recognized as equally illusory and part of the dream. But if its not me that awakens from the dream then who is it?
Tolle addresses this in an interesting way. “The dreamer is not the person”…..”The dreamer is the absolute reality in which all forms come and go…..the dreamer is consciousness itself. Awakening from the dream is consciousness freeing itself from form and becoming aware of itself. The universe becoming aware of itself through the channel of us……
Going June 8, 2008
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I step out onto the sidewalk and head down the street, the road in front of me.
I don’t know where I’m going just that I’m going.
Who is it thats going?
I thought I knew
Now it seems I don’t
“I” often fights to know
Because the knowing is all it knows
But knowing isn’t all its cracked up to be
Its like a cloud of smoke on a windy day
There one instant and gone the next
So whats left?
Nothing, nothing at all
And in nothing
Everything
So I just keep going
gone
gone beyond
so be it
The Wandering Yogi: 3 June 8, 2008
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Well its been an interesting process lately. I’ve let go of my counseling practice yet again. This was the second go at it but I was not able to attract the clients to make it work despite feeling great fulfillment in the work I did do with people. However I’ve come to realize that I do want to work with people and perhaps the reason why it hasn’t worked so far is that I have not quite found my approach to doing this work. The way I was doing it before even though it was labeled contemplative counseling and had eastern techniques incorporated into it was still mostly a traditional western approach or that is mostly talk therapy, work at a cognitive level and I don’t think that represents what I am here to offer. So I’ve let go yet again to allow spirit to guide me and focus my attention on my own unfolding path in the present moment with trust that I will see guidance when it is needed. Trust is such a primary factor in my day to day experience now.
In the meantime I’ve been attempting to do various types of odd jobs including general labor type gigs, yard work and some of my old technology type work with mixed results. It has been very frustrating because even after putting a great deal of effort into these things they seem to yield little financial return and instead produce the most bizarre experiences. Like the other day when I went to help a woman with her yard and felt completely ill at ease working there and then dreamed her up to be displeased with how fast I was working. After I accidentally pulled up her sunflowers in an awkward attempt at weeding she freaked out on me and I proceeded to remove myself from the situation and head off down the street feeling like I had certainly stepped into the most freaked out world imaginable. I’m giving these kinds of jobs a chance in any case to bring in some resources as my current goal is to be able to provide for my own food and expenses prior to getting a place. The jobs are coming in it will simply be a practice of being present when I’m at them and focusing on the work and being of benefit to the person as best as I can as well as look at what these experiences have to reflect to me about where I’m at and what I’m putting out there.
I took this process to my group the other night and shared my frustration around livelihood and the reflection I go was being asked the question, what is it I really want to do right now. My answer when money is put aside is to do spiritual practice, to meditate, so the group suggested I put aside a few days to do just that and maybe a clearer direction would emerge out of that. Seems like a no brainier its just the fear is an obstacle so much of the time and clearly is also coming up as the part of me, the ego, that does not want me doing intensive spiritual practice. Resistance. Well I’m going to do some of the things I’ve been wanting to do including spending some time meditating several days in fact, taking a mushroom journey in the park on the next nice day we have and doing an urban vision quest by spending a night wandering the streets. Am I sounding crazy yet? Yes/No? Well I am to me, except that one of my teachers says when you walk the path you indeed become crazy because you identify with mind less and less so your actions and decisions don’t make sense at a rational level because thats not where they are coming from. Hmmmmm makes me wonder what the difference is between going crazy and awakening. Oh wait yes the difference is awareness, is one aware and conscious of what is happening or have they lapsed into unconsciousness. I’ll let you know…..
The Wandering Yogi: 2 May 26, 2008
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Over the last few weeks I’ve experienced everything from intense fear to great bliss and freedom. Its been an amazing experience to live like this for a time. What I’ve come to realize is that this process of letting go has been one of tearing down or clearing away my previous life situation. This has served two purposes. One is that is as allowed me to let go of old things and patterns that were no longer serving me and were actually obscuring my connection with being fully alive. Letting go of my life situation had given me more direct access to being, spirit, the divine or whatever you want to call it. Its amazing how much all the things, situations, roles and processes of our lives can distract us from the present moment and the core of who we truly are as well as consume our energy if we are unconsciously trying to maintain things that aren’t congruent for us anymore. The other purpose is that in deconstructing my life situation and getting back in touch with life itself I can now begin to build a new life situation, one that is much more infused with the vibrant energy of the present moment. A life situation that is less rigid and dense than before, more fluid and open, a more accurate reflection of who I truly am.
I’m now in the process of recreating my foundation, building the basics of food, shelter and other basic needs back in. Once I have reestablished my foundation I will begin to build my outer life purpose on top of it. I’ve really connected with the idea of an inner and outer purpose. My inner purpose is to awaken and become fully conscious, to practice being fully present and aware. This inner purpose now guides the outer purpose which for me is the practice of healing in the form of counseling and through other means. This phase of my life has been about getting in touch with this inner purpose and making it primary so my outer purpose can be guided by it and not the other way around. I now have the opportunity to rebuild my life from the ground up in a more conscious, more healthy, more harmonious way.
Letting go of so much and living in such a basic way has illuminated my fears, feelings of lack and highlighted how little trust I had in myself and in life. A shift in perspective from one of fear and lack to one of presence and trust completely transforms my reality making a scary threatening situation into a freeing amazing space of limitless potential. Living this way has brought consciousness to so many things that I used to take for granted. Not knowing where your next meal is going to come from really makes you appreciate it when it does come. I can say I truly appreciate every morsel of food, every place that I have been able to sleep, every bit of support and literally everything in my life at this point. I used to take so much for granted and would spend immense amounts of money with little or no consciousness and even less appreciation. Going from making $75,000 a year to $0 is a sobering experience especially when it is done by conscious choice.
I would actually recommend this process to anyone on the path of awakening. Going through it for at least a brief period illuminates attachment and fear, brings consciousness to what you seek to acquire and create and generates appreciation for what you have. It may not be necessary for everyone but it has been a powerful part of my path. Now when I rebuild my life it will be with a vastly different relationship to material things, people and everything in my life. I feel much more at peace now that I am in tune with the still place of awareness within and less at the mercy of impermanent external things and situations for my happiness.
The Wandering Yogi: 1 May 19, 2008
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Its been almost a year since I quit my job and began a process of seeking a conscious congruent means of livelihood. I’ve been letting go of things at various levels including traditional relationship and most of my material possessions. Most recently I moved out of my apartment and have been in a state of floating without a long term living situation. It was a difficult process to let go of my apartment which had been my comfort zone but I am grateful to have such a deep degree of attachment illuminated so I can release it.
I’ve decided to do a series of posts entitled the wandering yogi because thats what a friend of mine recently referred to me as due to my lack of a place to live, my roaming and my unfolding process of awakening. It is turning out to be quite an adventure and a very freeing one at that. I am heartened that so many in my community have reached out and offered me support at this time in terms of temporary places to stay, food, emotional support, car use and much more. They are all very much appreciated and loved by me. I never planed to be without a place to live but this is where my path has taken me in this moment and so I surrender to it and seek my stability, security and peace within. I am creating what I need each day in the moment and this has brought me into much more direct contact with my core being as well as my fears and resistance.
Its my intention to create a new long term place to live but until that manifests I will continue to wander and enjoy the present moment wherever my path takes me. My concern each day is simply to remain fully present, accept what is, put joyful energy into my vision and be of whatever benefit I can to others.
This truly is a beautiful dream…….
Letting go, trusting and the present moment May 5, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Spirituality, blog , add a commentAfter letting go of so many things in my life I am really in a place of recreating things at every level. What is interesting is that I’m being called to recreate my life in a totally new way. The old patterns are no longer working for me. Whenever I try to grasp at anything it almost immediately dissolves or slips away. Having let go of so much has illuminated my attachment and clinging in a big way both clinging to the things I am letting go of and trying to cling to the new things I am creating.
However fear based clinging is no longer working for me, not that it every really did it just appeared to. Now my experience reflects it immediately, whenever I’m grasping what I’m grasping at falls away quickly whether it be money, people or situations. What actually is beginning to work for me in this new phase is a three step process. The first step involves the practice of being in the present moment. When I am grounded in the present moment I am not tripping out about the future or brooding about the past. When I am in the present moment I have access to my truth or intuition, my creative power and energy and my passion. It is from this place that all things are possible and from here that I have access to limitless abundance. It is a fearless powerful rich place to be. The second step is to set conscious intentions as to what I want to create and from the grounded place of the present moment to place my attention and energy on what I seek to create. What we pay attention to is what we create. But the attention has to come from inner joy and creativity, from the present moment. The energy of the present moment is channeled into the intention and then by building that into a vision with all its glorious details the stage is set for actual physical manifestation.
The third step is dealing with things that obstruct this process like fear, doubt and lack. These negative thoughts and emotions come up because there is a habitual pattern of focusing on them. So when they come up instead of getting swept away by them which short circuits the creative process I consciously feel and acknowledge them and then let go and bring my attention back to the present moment and my vision. This becomes a process of slowly breaking the habitual pattern of fear and lack by releasing the energy behind it and continually bringing my attention back to the moment and my creative vision. I realize that each time I illuminate the process of fear and doubt and consciously bring my attention back to the present moment the pattern is weakened. Over time I know that it will be broken.
Karmic Habitual Patterns April 20, 2008
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Karma otherwise known as the law of cause and effect in Buddhism is a key aspect of how life in this world functions. The idea here is that our current experience is a result of our past actions of body, speech and mind. Every action we engage in produces a result that is similar in quality to the original causal action. Understanding Karma is essential in order to live a happy life according to Buddhism because if we want to be free of suffering and create more happiness for ourselves and others we must know what the actual causes of these are. If we want happiness and are not able to achieve it we need to understand what we need to do to create that happiness and how we are creating what we do not want so we can cease doing so. The law of cause and effect states that a positive result such as happiness can never be created by a cause that is not of the same quality, that is if we want peace we will never create it with anger and violence no matter how we might justify them.
In my work as a Buddhist counselor, I’ve been looking at ways of bringing the idea of Karma into my work and helping people gain an understanding of it that will help them work with their process in more effective ways. One way that Karma can come into play is in understanding deep long standing and painful habitual patterns. From the point of view of Karma, the more we engage in a behavior the more we are likely to engage in it again, it becomes a habit, whether positive or negative. It becomes a habit that is carried across lifetimes and can be strengthened and solidified over many lifetimes of playing it out. Often my clients are dealing with very powerful habitual patterns which go incredibly deep, carry enormous energy that cannot always be traced back to logical sources in this life, and resist change persistently. Having an understanding of Karma can help explain why some habits are so powerful while others seem to be much easier to change. If we can recognize that with our most difficult habitual patterns we are dealing with processes that have been playing out over many lifetimes we can begin to understand why it can take a good deal of time, effort and energy to change them which can help us not to get discouraged but rather to have a resilient attitude in working with them.
No matter how powerful and deep a habitual pattern might be it can always be change by first illuminating and understanding it and secondly by consciously engaging in the opposing behavior. Even one instance of resisting a habitual behavior and doing the opposite has an effect on altering the overall pattern, it creates a small crack in the larger pattern. If you create enough cracks eventually the pattern will fall and there will be a breakthrough. This simply requires persistence. We can change our painful dysfunctional habits we just need to be realistic about what is required to do so and be willing to put the effort forth.
It comes down to the money April 14, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, blog , add a commentIn so many ways I am now living more as a I want to and doing more of what I want to do. The major challenge I face now is money. How do I do what I love and create enough financial resources to make ends meet. Working as a counselor in private practice is incredibly challenging from a financial point of view because the income is so unstable. People cancel appointments, they abruptly end counseling, they can’t afford to pay more than the minimum or they can’t come very regularly. All of this is understandable but it leads to the question of how you make a living off something like this when the incoming funds vary so greatly.
I also have the ability to do computer work on the side but my skills have aged on that quite a bit and my passion for doing it is gone, its doesn’t feel like what I should be doing right now. Nevertheless the bills need to be paid and I need money to move and pay rent and I must admit that I feel confused and lost in terms of how to make this all work consistently. When you are doing healing work and needing to depend on it to make a living it can really interfere with the energy and the ability to help people because its all too easy to start seeing clients as a commodity. It distracts from the true work and focus on the client and the healing that they need.
I’m so used to working at a job and getting a paycheck and this feels so foreign to me. However I know that somehow I must make it work or maybe just allow it to work because I cannot go backwards and live like I was before. Money and how to create enough of it now is my primary process, my main focus.
Living in community and exploration April 12, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Community, Relationship, blog , add a commentFor most of my life I’ve either lived alone or with a partner but for the last several years I’ve felt a draw to live in community but haven’t been able to let go of my comfort zone until now. However what I’m finding is that I’m not sure I really know what it means to live in community from an experiential perspective. I feel a pull to share resources, connect with people in an intimate way and co-create a shared vision together. On the other hand I have tended to be a very private person who really enjoys time alone. The question becomes is there a middle ground between these two poles. I believe there is but its an interesting process of discovering that middle ground.
Currently I’m living in a community house with some very wonderful people whom I haven’t had much of a chance to get to know yet. The vibe at this place is very open and grounding and that feels really good with where I’m at right now. Its going to be interesting to see to what degree I fit in and connect with the space and the community here. Its a bit of an experiment and that seems to be where I’m at right now, in an experimental and exploratory phase. I’m not sure where its going to lead but it seems my difficulty right now is directly related to the degree that I grasp at things being settled and stable. The reality is that they are not and when I’m able to embrace that things begin to feel powerful and open and ok until the grasping returns.
The real challenge is letting go of grasping and realizing there is nothing to hold onto. Damn that is hard to do at times, the pull to grasp, solidify and need things to be the way I’m used to is sneaky in the way it creeps in and powerfully frightening when its fully activated. I’ve put myself in a situation where I have no choice but to let go because I have released most of what I was using for my sense of security. At a deeper level I know that community living is the right path both for me personally and for the future of our society and planet but I just don’t know what that will look like for me or how it will manifest yet. The process is certainly moving forward in any case……
A dissolving identity April 11, 2008
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With all the change and letting go I’ve done lately I’m starting to realize that I don’t really know who I am anymore. Many of the things that I’ve been letting go of and changing have been key parts of my identity. So this process is forcing me to redefine who I am to the core. I used to consider myself a committed partner, a computer guru, a stable firmly rooted person and a fairly cautious person but now I’m finding I am none of those things per se. I’m still interested in being in relationship but in a way that defies labels and roles. I’m still interested in computers but but I don’t work with them in the same way anymore nor do I put myself out to people as a computer person anymore, they’ve become nothing more than a tool for expression. Now that I’ve let go of my apartment (comfort zone) of 4 years and am staying in various temporary housing situations I don’t feel like a stable rooted person anymore, actually more of a floating free spirit. I’m also far more willing to experiment, take risks (conscious ones) and put myself in situations I would have never imagined in the recent past.
What I’m realizing from all of this is just how much many of these things made up my identity and put me in a box of who I thought I was. Now I feel like I don’t know who I am and that at once feels frightening and also free. Maybe I don’t need to know who I am, maybe I just am. I have less and less use for labels these days and much more use for the phrase – I don’t know. I don’t know who I am and I’m finding I’m less and less interested in the question.
The suffering of change April 10, 2008
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In Buddhism, the first of the Four Noble Truths states that all life in this world is characterized by suffering or unsatisfactoriness. It specifies three forms of suffering; basic suffering which includes obvious things such as physical pain, sickness and emotional distress, then there is the suffering of change and what is referred to as all pervading suffering based on our illusory sense of self and separation.
I’ve been experiencing all three forms of suffering lately as everyone is but most intensely the suffering of change. This type of suffering occurs because all things are impermanent and change both in the moment and over time. However we usually don’t relate to things with this understanding rather we become attached to those things we think provide us with comfort, safety, pleasure and security. When we lose these things due to inevitable change we experience suffering due to our attachment. What we don’t realize is that these external things are not the actual source of our pleasure, love, security and peace. Our mind is the source and projects these qualities onto these external objects.
I’ve been in an intense process of letting go of much that I held onto in my life, everything from my job and career to my way of being in relationship to my living space. I’ve shifted from working a regular job with a consistent paycheck to working for myself with the uncertainty, increased responsibility and freedom that entails. I’ve begun to let go of my need to be in traditional relationship and instead have started to focus on being in more open free connections with people including lovers. I’ve just moved out of my apartment of four years, one of which was with my partner, and into a shared living situation which is very fluid and uncertain. I’ve experienced intense pain, fear and sadness throughout this entire process because letting go of each of these things has illuminated my attachment and clinging to them, its illuminated what I was getting from them and relying on them for. It has also illuminated to the degree to which they had become part of my identity. The process has been quite scary and unsettling at times but also extremely illuminating and freeing.
Letting go of so much at the same time is not something I would necessarily recommend to everyone but it has forced me to go inward for my sense of peace and security, the very place it all originated from anyway. Without as many of the typical external objects on which to project my peace and security I’ve been able to more clearly see its inner source and find ways of accessing it directly. I’ve seen this as finding incredible freedom because I feel like I’m getting to the point of not needing external people, things and situations to be a certain way in order for me to be happy because I see how I create my own happiness and can therefore access it at will, if I can get out of my own way in doing so. This way of seeing things seems to allow for change and impermanence to flow more freely because I’m not needing to hold onto or solidify things as much.
Its an ongoing process filled with moments of freedom and bliss and moments of terror but its a process I have chosen.
Tapping into Abundance September 7, 2007
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What is abundance? I’ve tended to think of creating abundance in my life but when I consider what I believe abundance to be I find that the idea of creating it is meaningless. To me abundance is emptiness as it is stated in Buddhism, it is the nature of the universe, it is the field of limitless potential of which we are all a part. It is the underlying energy of all creation and the stuff of which all things are made. From this point of view abundance does not need to be created, as it is everywhere limitlessly. We are however not generally taught to see things this way, we tend to be conditioned to think of the universe as mechanical, limited and of there being a lack of resources. So it seems that first of all we need to investigate what abundance really is and what beliefs and attitudes and emotions we possess that block us from realizing it. I consider spiritual practice a good approach to looking at this issue because it can provide techniques for accessing our inner nature directly and provide a viewpoint that illustrates our ability to create and determine our experience of ourselves and the world.
So in order to create what we want we need to really develop an experiential belief in abundance and the fact that we create our own experience. From here we are then needing to learn the process of how to tap into this all pervading field of limitless potential and energy in order to bring it into the particular forms we wish to create. So what needs to be created in our lives is not abundance itself but rather the forms we wish to manifest out of it and the process by which we do that.
The process that I currently use which is constantly being improved and changed is first working on my experience and understanding of abundance as pure potential mainly through my spiritual practice but also in study of creative manifestation.
From there I work to illuminate the obstacles to tapping into it such as the conditioning of lack and the emotional states of fear, anxiety and inadequacy that stem from it. This process involves changing my beliefs while allowing myself to feel and release the emotions around lack.
Then I state my intentions which reflect what I am working to create in as much detail as possible. My intentions focus on the end result that I seek to create not on how those results will be accomplished because the how is often where we get stuck and how we limit ourselves. There are limitless means to creating what we want and this is the part that we need to leave open so that our creative energy can flow into whatever means is most appropriate to bringing our intention into reality.
So I clearly focus on the end result I wish to create and visualize or imagine it being reality and seeing myself experiencing it. I also infuse my visualization and intentions with joy and positive energy to provide the necessary power to bring abundance into the particular form that I am working with.
This process of experiencing abundance as raw power, removing mental and emotional obstacles, stating clear intentions, visualizing results and bringing in the power of joy and positive energy is my process at this moment and it is a work in progress but its already produced some amazing results.
Creative Manifestation July 24, 2007
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, Spirituality, blog , add a comment
There is a lot of hype and media attention being given to the concept of manifestation these days especially following the success of The Secret. The question is how much of what’s out there regarding manifestation is new age fluff and how much of it contains real wisdom that can be put into practice? I’ve decided to become something of a living experiment lately to determine if techniques like the ones presented in The Secret can be successfully put into practice and its been quite an interesting journey so far.
I’ve set about creating a new life which sets aside old ways of thinking and adopts new approaches wherever possible. My process has been to maintain a set of intentions which describe what I wish to create in my life in all areas. In my view intentions are extremely powerful because they direct the creative process and allow energy to flow into a particular vision. Intentions need to be kept fluid however because they need space to change over time and its also important that they not turn into expectations. Expectations tend to be projections of ego control which fail to tap into the creative flow and the natural abundance that we all are a part of. Expectations also reflect a “need” for things to be a certain way or turn out a certain way which doesn’t leave room for the infinite possibilities and potential that naturally exists around every situation. The process of setting, maintaining and working with intentions creates a direction or flow in life that helps define a larger vision of purpose and meaning.
In addition to intentions, visualization and joy are key parts of the process for me. If my intention is to take a trip to New York City then it further develops the process if I can visualize myself in NYC and imagine what I would do there, what I would see and how I would feel being there. If my vision is also infused with joy it becomes even more powerful in my mind and begins to effect my belief. In my view belief is a primary factor in being able to creatively manifest things in ones life, you can only create what you believe in. If we want something but we don’t fully believe we can create it we will not be able to put the same quantity or quality of energy into it to bring it into reality. Working with intention, visualization and joy however slowly helps to create a belief that it is truly possible to bring our vision into reality because we become more and more familiar with it and feel more and more empowered by the positive energy we put into it.
Another key point is letting go of any expectation of how what you are creating will come to you. I’ve always gotten stuck in the how and thats usually prevented me from going forward with what I wish to create because if I can’t figure out how something will come to me then I would not believe that it could so would dismiss it as not possible. However if we focus on the how we limit the otherwise limitless potential of the universe. The number of ways that something can come to you are infinite. If we can stay focused on the end result of what we are creating and let go of the how it opens the door for it to come into our lives in whatever way is most beneficial for us and that can be truly remarkable. Letting go of this takes some trust but that trust can be built over time as we work with this process and start with visions that are more believable for where we are at the present time.
I’ve been working with this process for more than a year now and I’ve managed to use it to create some pretty amazing things in my life including a new incredibly fulfilling relationship, a new approach to work and career that involves doing what I’m really passionate about, new relationships with friends that nourish me in many ways as well as various material things. I’ve found the hardest thing to work with is money or finances and I think this is because how much negative conditioning we receive in this society in this area. When I work with finances I regularly encounter voices in my mind that seek to sabotage my creative process. These voices include questioning what I’m trying to create, questioning the idea of abundance in general and questioning my ability to successfully put it into practice. That these voices arise however is not problematic as long as I don’t identify with them and fall into their trap. If I instead illuminate them and challenge them I have an opportunity to release these doubts or integrate them into my experience if they carry a wise message.
The final step is being open to receiving what we create, allowing it into our lives and never giving up our vision as long as it remains true to our individual path. We remain open to receiving as long as we stay connected with our inner creativity and personal power and as long as we continue to work to dispel obstacles that we encounter along our creative path by illuminating and challenging them with wisdom. I do believe that we create our own reality and therefore why not create it consciously in a way that is in harmony with our inner truth and the interconnectedness of all life?
Experience with the Divine Feminine March 5, 2007
Posted by bodhidude in : Divine Feminine/Goddess, Relationship, Spirituality, blog , 1 comment so far
I just had one of the most amazing transformative weekends of my life. My partner and I felt a draw to leave the city on Saturday morning, we didn’t know where we were going, well we usually don’t because we try to just flow with the magic of the moment. We ended up renting a car and packing up a bunch of stuff and heading to the coast. We spent the day exploring and walking on the beach and smelling flowers and connecting and being present. That night we ended up renting a room on the Oregon coast right on the beach with the waves crashing outside our door.
I didn’t have any inclination on a conscious level of the experience I was about to go through that night. Quite a few factors ended up coming together to create a transformative experience for me (and my partner). There were several powerful forces present that night all of which represented the divine feminine or the energy of the Goddess to me. We were at the ocean, it was a full moon and I was with my partner (who is a woman and was in her time of the month). Additionally we brought some mushrooms with us and decided to open ourselves to the natural energy of that plant teacher as well. When we took the mushrooms my partner went into a blissful state and immediately seemed to embody the Goddess. I on the other hand was immediately agitated and overwhelmed by the energy present and trying very hard to resist it. I felt disconnected from my partner and in a different world which was initially alarming because I envisioned us connecting in a blissful way for the evening so I had a bit of an agenda. I felt all this feminine energy flowing into me and it was terrifying at first because I was unable to resist or control it. I finally had to leave the room and my blissful partner who tried to help me but realized she couldn’t do so by doing anything except holding space. In that moment she seemed like an enlightened being and I was blown away by that.
I ran outside and down to the ocean under the full moon in the middle of the night and felt like I was loosing my mind. I fought with the great mother running up and down the beach and cursing the waves until I wore myself out and collapsed. Then I took off my clothes and entered the freezing ocean which felt shockingly purifying. This experience broke me down enough to be able to go back up to the room and let go. I collapsed on the floor and was able to reconnect with my partner. As we lay on the floor together in front of a fire without speaking she placed her forehead against mine and channeled the divine feminine which completely infused my being. All my resistances and defenses were completely broken down and I felt unable to move. I began to cry as I surrendered to this nurturing energy of love and acceptance. We hardly spoke the whole night as we were in a place beyond words. Later we made love and it felt as if I was communing with the divine, no words can do this justice.
The next morning I felt like a new person in a way and realized I would not be the same after this experience. I feel more open to the great mother and the earth and feel my intimate connection to the divine in this way. My partner shared some of her experience which in many ways echoed mine but most of it lay beyond words and we share a deep knowing around that. We stayed on the coast for another night integrating the experience and sleeping in the natural energy of the woods.
Emotional Weather December 17, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Spirituality, blog , add a commentIts so interesting to me in the practice of meditation how emotional states as internal processes reflect the external processes of weather. The clear blue sky is like the innermost nature of mind; vast, clear and radiant. Clouds, storms and wind come and go and bring with them many different qualities. Sometimes you have thin white wisps of clouds with a gentle breeze, sometimes big puffy cotton balls, sometimes dark heavy gray clouds, sometimes violent stormy clouds and raging wind. But no matter what the weather the sky is always there unchanged and embracing whatever todays weather might hold. You can always take comfort in knowing that even though you may not be able to see it the sky is there behind the clouds and will show itself once again. So it is in meditation, the nature of mind is always there unsullied by the raging storms of emotions and thoughts that often seem like they will never end. One moment a joyous thought passes through and then the next a dark negative thought then maybe a wave of anxiety but in the end they are all just waves of consciousness on the sea of mind. No need to try to hold on to any of them, just let them be and they pass away just like that gray cloud up above my apartment building right now.
Confronting and Integrating Inner Darkness December 10, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Spirituality, blog , add a commentI’ve had a recurring dream for some time that involves being in a house and needing to go down into a dark basement for some reason that cannot be avoided. The feeling of going down there is terrifying and it feels like a dark so black that its all consuming. Once down in the basement I come upon a door that leads to a descending tunnel into some sort of a dark abyss. There is no way to describe in words how much fear is associated with thinking of going down there. Its as if I will have to confront the devil himself, or something of pure evil. Anyway, I had the dream again the other night and I came to a realization just after waking up from it that the only danger in going down there is if I bring fear. Fear is the only real weapon that can be used against you by any evil force, internal or external. If I go down there without fear and bring love light and compassion then there is no danger and I have the opportunity to illuminate whatever is down there and greet it openly with compassion. I think the process of illuminating it will help me integrate it which is the transformative step of confronting your inner darkness or shadow, those parts of yourself that have become dissociated from consciousness. That was really a revelation for me although I still need to put it into practice.
I see this process of confronting our shadow or owning and integrating our inner darkness as an important one for psychological and spiritual transformation as well as to precipitate transformation on a larger scale in our world. Whats happening in our world right now could be and has been described (see www.awakeninthedream.com) as shadow projection on a large scale. People becoming dissociated from their darker side and so projecting it externally onto others that they then proceed to try and destroy so as to symbolically destroy their own inner demons. Carl Jung actually describes demons as autonomous complexes or parts of our own psyche that have become dissociated to such a degree that they have taken on a semi-autonomous existence of their own. Resisting and fighting such processes only makes them stronger and cause great chaos and damage, rather they need to be reintegrated into consciousness by being openly confronted and illuminated. This cannot be done from a fear based mind state but only from one grounded in wisdom and compassion. I think if we can all acknowledge our inner darkness rather than deny or project it we can heal at a very deep level both ourselves and our world.
The greatest darkness holds the greatest potential for light. A shadow can only be cast if there is light nearby, the shadow then points to the very thing the light is illuminating, the very thing to be integrated.
Crop circles and ETs: Archetypal aspects of transformation? November 25, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Transformation, blog , add a commentI’ve recently been considering the phenomenon of crop circles in the larger context of this time of transformation that we find ourselves in. I’ve always considered them an interesting curiosity because I couldn’t accept that it was solely a human creation and I also couldn’t accept that somehow alien spacecraft were coming down and leaving their galactic signature either. I guess at this point I’m more of the impression that these things are an expression of planetary consciousness or archetypal symbols emanating from the collective unconscious of the planet. To me it cannot be a coincidence that these things began appearing as we approach a turning point in planetary history. I’m really starting to see them more and more as external emanations of the process of transformation we’re in. From that point of view I think they may speak to us at a deep level and are potentially activating unconscious aspects of our consciousness that we are needing to embody going forward into a new way of existing. It may be helpful to contemplate them in this way with an open mind and see what they stir up and evoke for us. The mainstream resistance to taking them seriously is also illuminating as we see the old ways of thinking resist and deny anything that threatens their dominance and rigid grasp at existence.
For a long time I’ve also considered the standard image of the ET to be an archetypal figure projecting itself from the collective unconscious to give voice to our search for larger meaning. The commonality of the ET experience across cultures whether it be UFO sightings or the description of aliens themselves is indicative of an archetypal pattern. We live in a culture that has lost its connection with the spirit and with the deeper meaning that comes from a healthy relationship with consciousness. So it seems understandable that we generate such projections as we continue to repress our inner nature and wrap ourselves ever tighter in materialism and the physical plane. It is certainly interesting to look at what plays out with these and other such phenomena as we move forward and become more activated at a deeper level………
Connecting without labels November 11, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Community, Relationship, blog , add a commentThere are so many damn labels associated with love and relationships and I’m really getting tired of them mostly because they seem to solidify a connection before it ever really develops. I find that I want to connect without so many labels but there seems to be such a tendency to want to assign certain labels to people from the outset. Are you mono or poly? Are you into kink? What are you looking for: LTR, FWB, friends only? And on and on. The thing for me is that I don’t identify with any of these things overall. They take shape based on the connection and the person I am relating to. I might meet someone and just be friends or it might feel right to be somewhat physically intimate or just emotionally intimate or maybe the connection is so strong we want to be in a monogamous committed relationship but I don’t know that until I get there. My intention in meeting women is to be open and see them for who they are and see what naturally unfolds and allow it to progress in whatever direction the connection takes it without expectations or attachment. That seems so simple and yet so hard to actualize. Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I’m in a place of redefining my relationship to relationship so its a bit confusing……..
Seeing the world from other viewpoints… October 23, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, blog , add a commentIn so much of the debate that happens today it seems that there are very different perspectives, world views or paradigms conflicting in a lot of the discussion. Much of it is just good debate but there is also conflict as well. We all have our own way of looking at the world/universe whatever we identify it as. The question that really comes up is are we open to accepting that there is more than one valid way of looking at the world? I say “valid” here because we all know that there are multiple ways of looking at the world but are we open to there being more than one way to see things that yields meaning and usefulness.
If we are open to other ways of seeing things then a further question is can we fully step into another approach so that we can truly evaluate it and see if there is any value or meaning to it? What I think happens quite often is that someone coming from one world view or paradigm looks at an explanation or viewpoint from another world view or paradigm and judges it based on their approach but doesn’t necessarily step into the other viewpoint in order to see it from that perspective. For example if I am coming from a scientific viewpoint and I look at a Buddhist explanation of consciousness and apply scientific principles to that explanation then I might conclude that it is invalid because it doesn’t adhere to those principles. But this doesn’t really accomplish anything because the Buddhist explanation is coming from a different viewpoint and scientific principles have little or no applicability for it. In order to understand the Buddhist explanation you have to step into that system of thought and only then can you grasp the meaning behind it and determine if it has any value to you. I think its important to note that a particular set of principles may only be relevant within the system of thought in which it originated and may have little or no meaning within another system of thought.
Being able to step into seeing the universe, others and ourselves from different perspectives can loosen our sense of the world being a certain way and open us to a more expansive viewpoint as well as generating new knowledge and understanding derived from experience in other ways of knowing.
Interest in 2012 October 1, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Society, Transformation, blog , add a commentI have recently started looking into the idea of 2012 (the end date of the Mayan calendar) for two reasons mainly. One is that 2012 has become a symbol of transformation or transition. A symbol of an ending of old systems and ways of being that have become dysfunctional and a beginning of a new way of being and new systems of society that are more integrated and healthy.
The idea of transformation is one that I see reflected all across society and the world at this time both on an individual and a collective basis. We see old systems moving into greater and greater states of dysfunction and breakdown. Examples of this include the system of government in this country sliding into fascism and totalitarianism, the environment fast approaching a critical point of biospheric breakdown, the addiction to materialism and disconnection from the spirit reaching a point where a greater percentage of the population could reasonably be considered mentally ill, the extreme rigidity of the scientific paradigm and its inability or unwillingness to account for large portions of human experience while it provides the tools for destruction of both the planet and the human race. What I see in these and many many other such examples is a winding down or last gasp of an old grand paradigm or age preparing to give way to a new one.
On an individual level I see more and more people experiencing personal transformations on a scale I have never before witnessed, myself included. By this I mean people going through drastic life transitions where not just one part of their life is thrown into chaos or forced to change but their whole way of being and defining themselves. The kind of transformation where old habits break down and don’t work anymore and the person is almost forced to change or lose it completely. This isn’t a new thing obviously but I have never seen it on the scale I am seeing today. Its as if transformation is beginning to occur and accelerate on a planetary level and effecting all aspects of the planet from the smallest beings to the largest global institutions. The way this process of transformation affects the individual is of particular interest to me as a student of both eastern and western psychology as well as a spiritual seeker.
The other interest I have in 2012 is an interest in the Mayan approach to time and cycles as I find this fascinating. I also think tribal cultures and tribal spirituality have much to teach us going forward because they represent much of what we have become disconnected from and need to reintegrate. I’m not sold on the idea that 2012 itself is some sort of drop dead date for the end of the world, not at all but I do think its a powerful symbol of the increasing and intense period of transformation this planet is in. I seek to understand that as best as I can and put that knowledge to use to play an active role for the benefit of all beings on this planet and beyond.
The process of transforming September 14, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Transformation, blog , add a commentI hear a lot of debate these days among spiritual people regarding how to deal with the state of our world today and considering my approach to this has occupied my mind quite a bit lately. Some people I know choose to ignore what is going on in the world and focus on spiritual practice, positive activities and conscious people. They don’t really want to give any attention to the negative events that are unfolding. I’ve gravitated towards this at times myself but the problem I have with it is that by not acknowledging these events and situations I think we give them power and we don’t realize the part we have played in creating them. By not acknowledging whats playing out in the world we disconnect from our own shadow side and fail to integrate the darkness with the light. Our shadow can then manifest unconsciously and help give rise to negative processes in our external as well as internal world.
Others give so much attention to world events that they become disillusioned, depressed and hopeless. They become so caught up in the negativity of the world that they can no longer see beyond it. I don’t think this is healthy both because its not an accurate picture of whats happening and because engaging in this attitude is like throwing fuel on the fire of negativity.
I’ve been trying to maintain a balance between these two extremes and find the most effective way I can to relate to the environment I find myself in. For me I find it necessary to track what is happening in this country and the world and also to reach out to people I disagree with so as not to become insulated. There is no real way to work for change without being in touch with what you want to change. I also feel like there is a great lesson in the ignorance, delusion and evil that is currently playing itself out and the center piece of that lesson is how we all have a role in creating it. This world is our collective dream and it is all of our karma to be a part of it at this time. If we can come to understand what our role is in it then we can find a real unique way to effect change but first we must acknowledge the negativity and take our share of the responsibility for it. Its not something “out there” that we have no part in, how could that be because we are all interconnected?
On the other side of the coin is the positive potential that this degree of negativity activates. Our world is so skewed in a negative direction right now that there is immense potential for positive
energy and action. The more spiritual practice we can do, the more we can love people unconditionally, the more we can work through our own shadow process, the more we can practice patience and understanding, and the more healing we can do ourselves and help others with the more we can bring this world back into balance.
So I see the process as seeing the negativity and evil for what it is and integrating it while at the same time transforming it into positive loving energy and action. This is like an alchemical process of taking something in, transforming it and sending something else out. This is similar to the Buddhist practice of Tonglen where we take in the suffering and pain of others in the form of black smoke, transform it through our compassion and send them back healing energy in the form of white light.
Fear and Illusion August 10, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Spirituality, blog , add a commentI’ve stopped paying much attention to the mainstream media because I’ve slowly come to realize it is nothing but a propaganda machine. Real journalism and reporting is a thing of the past in this country as evidenced by the PROVEN criminal activity of our current administration going almost unreported and uninvestigated by the media. Instead of reporting the news the media today is delivering propaganda and fear. The propaganda takes the form of disseminating the “official” stories that the government wants us to hear while adding a paltry amount of argument to give the illusion of balance. This is followed by a systematic effort to squelch any stories that are really challenging to the powers that be either by avoiding them totally or covering them and discrediting the story. There are exceptions to this as we have seen when an issue gets too big to control such as Abu Graib or the Abramoff scandal but there really are few exceptions.
Right alongside the propaganda is the other primary aim of the media which is distributing fear. Fear is the mechanism through which the current administration is able to maintain power and to maintain its criminal activity and the central theme by which they create fear is terrorism. Today we see a new “plot” supposedly foiled. We’re told that this is a reminder that we are still at “war” and we see a new set of “alerts” and “warnings”. However if one researches what underlies this war on terror we quickly see that it is an illusion weaved by people who seek to dominate through fear. When their power is threatened they dish out more fear so today’s so called terror plot is right on cue as the November elections are coming up and the dominating party realizes that it is in trouble. Well it would be if we were actually having free elections. Expect more fear and chaos to be created in the coming weeks. It’s ironic that the president’s statement today was that “we are fighting Islamic Fascists”. This is the ultimate in projecting the shadow externally as they displace what they truly are onto others. In reality Bush is the fascist yet he projects that onto the “terrorists” to create fear and deception.
The path I have taken in light of this is to disconnect myself from the mainstream media in order to stop the flow of fear and disinformation. I think we need to acknowledge what the media has become and actively get our information elsewhere and with a high degree of discrimination followed by critical analysis. If we do that then we free ourselves from the matrix-like trance that the media is helping to create and we begin to hamper its ability to maintain that. If enough of us can pull out of this delusional world that has been created to keep us ignorant we can open up real possibilities for change. I have felt much more healthy since disconnecting from the fear machine and much more able to see how I can make a positive difference for change. Lets all wake up from this nightmare together and create a more healthy world……………
Superstition and Science August 3, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Spirituality, blog , add a commentLately I’ve become aware that I have a foot in two different worlds. One of my passions is Tibetan Buddhism and another is science (various forms of it). In the Tibetan tradition there are many things that smack of superstition and seem to be outdated ways of looking at the world. Some of these things include; a belief in non-physical beings such as ghosts, demons, gods and nature spirits; a belief in blessings; a belief in the power of holy objects such as stupas and Buddha figures; a belief in astrology; and non-scientific spiritually based explanations for phenomena such as storms, earthquakes and floods.
From a scientific point of view such things are not seen as valid because they cannot be tested using scientific methods nor do they fit into any accepted scientific theory or paradigm. Such so called superstitions from this point of view are considered ignorant ways of explaining and looking at phenomena. They are considered obsolete because we have more precise ways of seeing the world and so these superstitious explanations are not needed any longer. I used to take this point of view myself but not so much anymore because I’ve come to realize that science has some serious limitations which need to be considered.
Science has three major limitations which you have to accept to adopt scientific explanations as valid. First science assumes that the physical world is all that exists, that phenomena should be able to be measured physically and have a basis in a physical universe in order to be considered real. The problem is that this is an assumption and science cannot prove that a material universe is all that exists, a material universe is simply all that can be measured with technology. Following this, science requires that we have the ability to measure phenomena in order to study them. This ability to measure is based on our technology and so is only as capable as our current level of technology. The fact that we do not possess the technology to measure a phenomena has nothing at all to do with whether or not it exists yet we commonly reject things that we can’t measure as unreal. A third factor is that even within the realm of science we generally have an accepted paradigm under which theories and investigations are conducted. Theories and results that do not fit this paradigm even if they are measurable and highly valid from a research point of view are commonly rejected because they fly against the established paradigm. What I’m getting at here is not that science has no use but that it has its limitations and its a human invention for trying to make sense of the universe and as such cannot possibly be the sole basis for accepting what is real and what is not.
When we look at the limitations of science we can develop more of an appreciation for the traditional and ancient ways of looking at the world. Because we have a scientific explanation for something does not invalidate other ways of looking at it. For example, we have a fairly good understanding scientifically of thunderstorms. But because we know many of the physical mechanisms underlying a thunderstorm does not mean there aren’t other levels of meaning and significance to such phenomena. The physical scientific explanation is of great use but spiritual nonphysical explanations can have just as much meaning especially with regard to our relation to these phenomena and their meanings to us personally. Another example is hurricane Katrina. We could explain this tragedy scientifically using meteorological and climate change theories which are of course valid but seeing such an event from a spiritual point of view in terms of karma and of the earth as an entity reacting to man’s exploitation of her can have great significance and validity for us as well because it can allow us to integrate such events and see ourselves as co-creators of our world rather than powerless bystanders.
I believe that science presents a piece of the puzzle of this universe in which we live, but only a piece of the puzzle not the whole puzzle. Spiritual, intuitive and contemplative methods have their role to play as well and have been used by human beings far longer than scientific methods. If we take this kind of holistic open minded approach we greatly expand our possibilities and the universe opens itself to us in all its infinite glory.
White cat initiation July 20, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Spirituality, blog , add a commentI had a really interesting and powerful dream the other night. During the dream I was at a holy place with other spiritual seekers and we were listening to teachings given by various masters. We were also waiting for an initiation ceremony to be given by a particularly renowned master. The initiation was being prepared in a grand hall with an ornate thrown mounted on a platform with stairs leading up to it on all sides. It was like a golden thrown perched high above the rest of the hall. Some other participants and I found our way into the hall during the preparation for the ceremony and we climbed part way up the stairs to see what was going on. At the top of the stairs on the thrown was an enclosure flanked with silk wall hangings where the master was sitting. As soon as we got half way up the stairs we heard a voice from the thrown asking us what we were doing. We were startled and embarassed but the voice then said “oh you must be curious about what we are doing up here” and invited us to come up. I remember climbing up toward the thrown and looking inside the enclosure and seeing a beautiful luminous white cat sitting inside. He invited us to stay and he came out of where he was sitting and came over to me and touched his body to mine and I remember being filled with radiant white light, kind of like milk being poured into my body. At that point I woke up but just felt filled with this white light energy. It was a really amazing dream. I’m still processing its significance….
Overcoming stuckness, just do it…………. March 10, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Livelihood, Psychology, blog , add a commentI was connecting with people in this group I attend weekly the other night and the topic came up of people feeling stuck in trying to create the meaningful fulfilling things they desire in their lives. I also have experienced this especially with what I want to do for a living or right livelihood. I’ve worked in the technology field for so long and just have no interest in it anymore whatsoever. I feel so drawn to healing and helping people but I always approached it from the perspective of money. What kind of healing work can I do that will allow me to pay the bills? How will I make a enough money doing what I love. Then someone pointed out to me that maybe thats totally the wrong approach. I was approaching my lifes work from the perspective of money when money is not my priority or focus, helping and healing is my priority. My friend said to me ‘You know what you want to do, why don’t you just do it?’. I processed that and realized, yeah why don’t I just do it instead of analyzing it to death? What a release that was for me. So simple yet so profound. If I want to do healing work with people I can start doing it and let it develop over time into something that can sustain me. In the meantime I can help people right now in the moment with just what I have to offer and I have a job for now that can pay the bills while I develop my passion. It can be so easy to not believe in oneself yet such a drastic shift if we do. It blows my mind how when light gets shed on obstacles we create for ourselves, how quickly they can be overcome and how unreal they actually were in the first place. Makes me believe that the possibilities are just about limitless…….
Celebrating Women March 8, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : Divine Feminine/Goddess, blog , add a commentBecause I work at such a progressive place, we have today off for the holiday of International Women’s day. I’ve really embraced this day as something very special because I can’t think of a more meaningful holiday than celebrating Women.
Being a male and living in what is unfortunately still a mostly patriarchal society, I find it very important to have a reminder to celebrate and appreciate Women. More than that, it is a reminder to focus on and reflect on addressing the obstacles that remain to this being a truly gender equal society. For men this is an opportunity for us to look at ways we might consciously or unconsciously support the patriarchy and work to change that. Women still face inequality and oppression from this and other societies and that is a very sad fact in 2006.
On a spiritual level, I see this as a day to celebrate the feminine energy within me, to celebrate the Goddess in general and to recognize the special wisdom that Women possess. I have always been blown away by the powerful beauty that Women possess and I’ve worked from a point of resisting society’s encouragement to see Women as sex objects and now to see their beauty of spirit, their beauty of mind and their beauty of body equally. When you see beauty radiated across all levels of being only then do you truly grasp what beauty is and for me the most amazing display of such beauty has come from the Women I know and have known. It has been one of the greatest gifts I have received in this life.
Sending love, appreciation and gratitude to my sisters everywhere………
Love February 5, 2006
Posted by bodhidude in : blog , add a commentThere are days when I wake up and struggle to just get through the day without causing suffering for anyone or myself. But then there are days when I feel connected to such a vast and limitless field of pure love that it is mind boggling. Times like this are such an inspiration not only because it demonstrates that I am connected to love if I can only let go of that which blocks me from it but so are all beings. If there is such a sea of love and compassion just under the surface of our everyday world we just need to let go and let it flow into our hearts. It amazes me how simple and effortless it is and yet how far I can feel from it at other times. Nevertheless I am so grateful to be able to feel such a connection when I do. When I tap into this love I feel drawn to share it and send it out to all. I hope that we can reach a critical mass of love someday soon which will create a shift in consciousness and fundamentally change this world that we all live in………
Alone December 6, 2005
Posted by bodhidude in : Creative, blog , add a commentWe must walk our path alone. There are many others on the path and often our paths cross but ultimately we must walk our path alone. We can get help and support and advice and affection along the way from many but still we must walk our path alone. No one can clear away our pain. No one can give us happiness. No one can change us. No one can fully understand our experience. So……ultimately…….we must walk our path alone and in so doing I think find our true connection with others.
Change November 20, 2005
Posted by bodhidude in : Creative, blog , add a commentWe can change the world.
We can change the world if we start with ourselves and our own heart. Are we in touch with who we really are? Do we share that with the world?
We can change the world if we connect with others and share our vision in a creative flowing transformative way. Its the difference between acting and reacting, creating vs opposing, sharing vs resisting.
We can change the world if we realize the boundaries between us are not real, only imagined.
We can change the world by reaching out and touching the hearts of those we most disagree with. By connecting through our similarities rather than our differences.
We can change the world by seeing every act of love and compassion as a ripple that expands across the universe leaving no being untouched.
Fear September 29, 2005
Posted by bodhidude in : Psychology, Society, blog , add a commentFear is the ultimate tool of control. All totalitarian governments have used it very effectively over the centuries and the American government is no expection. Without keeping people afraid you cannot maintain control and implement the measures that enable a repressive state. People don’t think rationally when they are afaid because they are caught up in an anxiety state, worried about their safety and survival and eager to accept anything they believe may alleviate the situation.
As the US has begun to transition into a more totalitarian state we have seen fear invoked in the classic ways with this perpertual war scenario, “the war on terror”. Our government feeds on the fear of the masses, I think its why we are always at WAR with everything. The war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on terror, the war the war the war……… We are taught to be afraid of all these things, that they constitute a threat. This is a very dysfunctional way of relating to the world and it creates mental illness on a large scale because we can easily see what happens to people when they are kept in a state of fear and stress over a long period of time. Fear supercedes critical thinking and awareness and it has worked on the American people to allow the government to pass repressive laws, subvert the constitution, lie on a larger scale than ever before and avoid being accountable.
The only solution to this is to see it for what it is and consciously choose to remove oneself from the fear loop by not giving into it. By returning to critical thinking and seeing through the delusional games. By turning off the mechanisms of fear delivery, the mainstream media and entertainment, and getting your news and entertainment from a more conherent source and intentionally exposing yourself to positive experiences in your life. If we can remove ourselves from this cycle of fear we will be able to effect change and change the course of our society.