Are you waiting for the end of the world? The recent prediction of the rapture and end of the world this year by a fundamentalist Christian preacher got me to ask myself that very question. Oh course I didn’t take it seriously because you know they do that all the time don’t they but it also go me thinking about what is behind such predictions. Well there was no rapture but it was surprising how seriously some people took it, even selling their possessions and moving to a ‘safe’ place. It was hard for me to not just write them off as ignorant, gullible and sad but that would be nothing more than my own self important judgement however they may just represent a powerful collective pattern. A pattern that has been going on for millennia. How could I really blame them because life in mainstream society is pretty damn lousy so why wouldn’t people want to let that all go for a life of eternal bliss? I mean you work at a job which even if you like it you have to admit that if you weren’t being paid you wouldn’t be there. Well then theres money which is why most people ‘work’ and you can never seem to get enough of the stuff. But at least theres relationships and love right, bliss, uh kind of but you also get trauma, disappointment and divorce. We’ve got war, we’ve got violence, inequality, a dying environment….yada yada yada….I could fill the entire post with this, it pretty much sucks the big one. So why not have a rapture and leave this cesspool behind for an eternal life of bliss?
(more…)
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
2012, the new age rapture?
Monday, May 30th, 2011Got compassion?
Thursday, April 21st, 2011
We hear so much about compassion these days and having practiced in the Buddhist tradition for so many years I’ve been steeped in it. However my perspective on what compassion is and what it means to practice it has changed dramatically as I’ve walked my path. I think its very important to be clear on what we mean by the term compassion because after all its just a word and like many words much misused with all sorts of meanings for different people. For most of my time on the Buddhist path what I thought was compassion was really pity and my own self-importance and that’s what most of what passes for compassion out there is in my view. One of my Buddhist teachers called that idiot compassion. A good deal of people’s efforts to help others (including my own) is not really compassionate but manipulative assuming we know what someone else needs or whats best for them or helping them because the state they are in makes us uncomfortable and we really want them to be different. Suffering people remind us of our own suffering even if its just under the surface so is helping them a way to make them stop reminding us of our own pain? This made me question compassion altogether feeling that maybe its all bullshit and we can’t really be concerned with others at all without in some way manipulating them. I’ve become pretty wary of people who are out there to ‘help’ others.
(more…)
Freeing ourselves from problem consciousness
Thursday, March 31st, 2011Hey! What’s your problem? Have you ever been confronted with that? I have except now I regularly confront myself with that question. You see my life has been filled with problems. In recent years, the problems have appeared to grow bigger and bigger until they have become things that have threatened my very survival. Problems like not having a place to live, not having enough money, problems with my relationships, with what I do for work. Jesus its problems with everything, with life itself. In working with all of this in a very intense way its pushed me to realize a number of things because I’ve had to ask where all these problems are coming from. To answer that question I can project their cause externally which I have done but that has only ever lead to more problems and suffering.
(more…)
Walking our own path
Saturday, February 19th, 2011
As I sit here beginning a week long retreat I embrace the unknown within before I step deeper into the unknown on an outer level. I’m struck by how much there is to let go of in order to truly walk the path of freedom. As human beings we’re conditioned to engage life by holding onto or clinging to ‘things’ (things being anything that can be conceptualized such as relationship, career, money, beliefs, opinions, validation from others, places, community, material things). There is a great cosmic joke in this however since life is a constantly changing flow with nothing to hold onto. Thus you have the suffering of the human condition. Most people who engage some form of spiritual path are familiar with the act of letting go and have probably even put it into practice to some degree. However to walk in freedom requires a complete letting go or the act of letting go in every moment of every concept. Letting go becomes way of directly engaging existence itself and restores life to its natural flow but only when it becomes our primary focus.
(more…)
The trap of self importance
Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from the bow of a ship without ever having felt sorry for itself. ~D.H. Lawrence
In Buddhist terms the root of human suffering is our belief and investment in a non-existent self. We take ourselves to be solid, real and substantial even the center of our individual universe yet the reality of what we are is fluid, changing, insubstantial and interconnected with everything else. We work very hard to maintain this sense of self and suffering results because we can never fully secure this fragile illusion since it is in conflict with reality. We become obsessed with this self which requires so much work to maintain. It always seems to be threatened by something which makes the world seem incredibly cruel and dangerous leading to self pity, our poor self can never seem to get a break and even when it does it doesn’t seem to last.
(more…)
The tension of the opposites
Saturday, January 22nd, 2011
As I dredge up deeper and deeper “stuff” to work with on my path I’ve recently gotten into a place where I’m dealing with some of my most core issues involving relationship, money and work and addiction. The last couple of months have been difficult because I’ve noticed myself bouncing back and forth between extremes with these processes. For example with my work I seem to either be in a state where I am working very hard and making money but quickly getting burned out and exhausted by the struggle or I’m in a space where I’m overcome by lack and not really able to get much work done. With relationship this has manifested as going through intense periods of dating where I’m consumed by sexual energy and romantic feelings leaving me depleted or I avoid romantic connection all together and focus on my work and my path leaving this aspect of life ignored and relegated to the unconscious.
(more…)
Breaking open the wound, becoming a warrior
Thursday, December 30th, 2010
I recently had an intense insight into the core of my process of feeling like a worthless and undeserving human being. We had a holiday gathering where many members of our community came together to celebrate and infuse some light into the field. As the evening progressed we moved from socializing and partying into a dream circle, a place to share and get reflection on our processes which is part of what our community is based on. I was really enjoying the evening with my dear friends and had no intention of sharing or getting to anything in particular, was just flowing with the moment.
(more…)
The Sun as a catalyst for transformation
Tuesday, December 21st, 2010
The above image of the Sun was taken yesterday by NASA’s Solar and Heliospheric Observatory (SOHO) spacecraft using its Extreme Ultraviolet Imaging Telescope (EIT). NASA has several spacecraft currently monitoring the Sun’s activity from various positions and using a variety of scientific instruments. This has been going on since the mid-1990s but recently NASA spacecraft have observed some rather unusual or really astounding solar activity.
(more…)
Fully engaged relationship
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010In my process of letting go of old patterns and stepping into a new life of fully engaged living I’m finding that I’m having to start from scratch in many areas, especially relationship. This is because the way I have been in relationship in the past no longer serves me as it was very much about attachment and getting needs met. Now that I am letting go of that and more able to fulfill my needs within the door is open to a new more free and open form of relationship. I’ve been contemplating the different dimensions of relationship and how I engage them both with myself and with others and there is incredible potential to deepen each dimension if relationship can be fully engaged in a conscious way.
(more…)
The Storm
Saturday, August 7th, 2010The clouds gather ominous on the horizon
A buildup of massive waves
Suddenly one crests and crashes down upon the shore of my heart
I’m inundated, overwhelmed, cast open wide
Flooded I sink down below the surface, drowning
Desperately coming up for air only to fall back down once again
And again
My heart is open and from the depths
I cry the tears of a thousand pains, a thousand losses,
A thousand wrongs, a thousand lifetimes
A thousand stories in a tangled web of confusion
The torrent overwhelms me and I become one with it
My heart aches, my head throbs, my eyes swollen
I know nothing else
The world seen through this lens is a cold cruel place
Filled only with pain and sorrow
Then a flash of light appears
Amidst the clouds growing brighter
Only to be dimmed again by another wave
Crashing
Suddenly the clouds part and the sun shines through
And I see the sky and remember
This too shall pass
And the storm passes and all is calm again
Yet I was swept away
Who remains?
I do not know
The sun shines……..
We are free!
Monday, July 19th, 2010Over the last few years struggle, chaos and upheaval have permeated all aspects of my life. It has been very difficult and even terrifying at times. I’ve lost my job, my living space, relationships, many aspects of my identity and most of my material possessions. However I created this experience with the simple but powerful intention to be free, truly free at all levels. All this difficultly came about as I confronted my doubts, fears and attachments and learned often the hard way to let go of all that is not my essence. I have no regrets, I embrace the pain with the pleasure, the bad with the good. When you take away the dualistic labels everything is an expression of the divine and from that perspective one can experience true equanimity, accepting and embracing what is in each moment. Flowing freely with life. Co-creating your world with the full creative force of the universe behind you.
The Five Steps
Saturday, July 17th, 2010As I’ve walked my spiritual path I’ve engaged in many practices, some more effective than others. I’ve found that the simplest techniques are usually the most effective because in my view the aim of the spiritual path is very simple and immediate. That aim is to realize our true nature, to return to wakefulness, to awaken from the dream of separate/dualistic life. On the path, we can get distracted by looking for the truth somewhere “out there” but I think the truth is right under our noses. Its right here, right now in this moment and it is life itself. It cannot really be spoken of but it can be lived. No special knowledge, talent or preparation is needed because it involves being what you already are at the deepest level. All that’s needed is to remember and to clear away anything that obscures what we truly are, that is, anything that distracts one from this moment. We just have to be interested in this process of awakening so that we are wiling to give it our full attention. The five steps I describe below are a tool I have used lately to help me return to my true nature when I forget.
(more…)
The Power of Awareness and Attention
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010In the last couple of years I’ve moved around a great deal living in half a dozen living situations. In the process I’ve been looking at how I create security, stability and a feeling a safety in my life. During this time I had very few of the usual things most people associate with security and stability, things like a house, a car, a job, a long term relationship or money. I’ve had all of these things in the past but in my process of transformation had to temporarily let them go one by one. My intention in letting them go for a while was not because they are negative or problematic but rather to look at my attachment to them and my motivations in having them in my life. You see, all of these so called sources of security have also been sources of suffering for me. They have caused suffering because they are unreliable, temporary and fail to meet my expectations. One thing we can say for certain about external sources of security is that they are temporary, they do not last forever and they change, often in ways we don’t like.
(more…)
The Treasure
Thursday, March 4th, 2010A man was walking in the forest and came upon a monk sitting under a tree.
The man asked the monk, who are you sir?
The monk replied, I am.
I see said the man and how is it you look so happy and joyful?
I have discovered a treasure said the monk.
Well sir, I am a poor man and am distraught with my life, won’t you share this treasure with me?
The monk said, of course my dear fellow, please sit down here next to me.
The man sat down and the monk continued to sit looking peaceful and serene, smiling.
Finally growing impatient the man said, sir, when will you share this treasure with me?
The monk said, I share it with you now, will you not accept it?
I mean no disrespect but you have only sat here next to me, I have seen no treasure.
Ah said the monk, first you must put down your burden.
But sir, I have nothing, I carry no burden.
Perhaps you have carried it so long you have forgotten said the monk.
Well then, what must I do said the man?
Suddenly the monk slapped the man in the face.
Ouch! cried the man, why did you do that?
I was trying to get your attention said the monk.
Well you did, that hurt.
My apologies, do you hear that soothing sound in the background asked the monk?
Yes, it is the stream at the edge of the forest.
Indeed, and do you smell that sweet fragrance in the air?
Oh yes, the blossoms of the tree have just opened said the man.
Lovely and do you feel the warmth of the sun on your face?
Yes, it is quite a pleasant day at that.
Would you like some of these grapes asked the monk?
Thank you sir, they are quite delicious.
The monk bowed then got up and began to make his way down the road.
The man asked, sir, where are you going?
Now that you have laid down your burden and accepted the treasure I am going back to my hut to take my afternoon nap said the monk.
But sir, what shall I do now?
Leave your burden and enjoy the treasure and joy will never leave you no matter what happens……….
Facing the Darkness: A Powerful Healing Experience
Saturday, February 20th, 2010Have you ever had a period in your life where you felt stuck and overcome by your habitual patterns unable to break free? That has been my life over the last few months and it seemed like no matter what I tried to do it would not work out. Either I was too confused to know where to direct my energy or when I did have a direction no matter how much effort I put forth it would still be unsuccessful. I felt a deepening frustration and an increasing darkness overtaking me and nothing was working to break free of it despite much effort. I have a pretty strong spiritual practice but it did not seem to be able to penetrate whatever it was I was struggling with. So as I do when I’m feeling confused or lost I asked for guidance from the universe, from my guides. Usually that involves putting out a request for help and then opening to receiving the guidance in whatever form it might take. In this instance I received a response immediately as if it had been right there waiting all along. The response was Daime, a form of Ayahausca from the Santo Daime tradition originating of Brazil.
(more…)







