Since my intense experience at a Zen retreat a couple of weeks ago my spiritual practice (or really my life) has begun to shift significantly and it is shifting in the direction of simplicity. What I reacted to at the retreat was the degree of structure and technique. Zen practice is itself a very simple form of spiritual practice in one sense but it involves a great deal of form, procedure and technique in another sense. In sitting with my post retreat experience while I understand the purpose of that I am finding myself drawn to the utter simplicity of presence without the technique and form. I find that I can actually use meditation techniques to try and control my meditation experience, “trying” to do it right or achieve something which takes me into another mind story.
My practice now is basically just sitting and relaxing into the present moment and allowing my experience to be whatever it is while letting go of control at all levels. Essentially sitting in pure presence. I used to think that this was an advanced technique and that it would take years to achieve this “transcendent” state but now that seems completely absurd. Sitting in presence is the easiest thing one could do and at the same time the most powerful. So easy in fact that it is hard to accept at first. If one sits in meditation without concern for technique, without the question of doing it right or wrong and without needing the experience to be anything other than it is something amazing is revealed. What is revealed is the underlying power and stillness of life itself. All that is required for this is surrender, surrendering completely to the experience as it is and allowing whatever happens or comes up to be there without resistance. The experience may be peaceful, painful, agitated, sad, happy, irritating or whatever it does not matter if there is surrender. Initially there is a letting go as the mind may really want something to do, a technique, something to focus on. However if the mind is engaged it is hard to go beyond the mind, the mind can subtly come in and try to control the experience, to try and make it a proper “successful” meditation. This is not surrender but just another form of mind activity. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with meditation techniques or the activity of mind but for me there is a time to put down the techniques and step out of the mind to allow a deeper experience.
The experience of allowing life to unfold as it is without resistance is a deeply peaceful experience, even in the midst of an unpleasant situation or pain. It is peaceful because most of our suffering comes from resistance to what is rather than the raw experience itself. With resistance comes mind activity and stories about the experience which further separate us from just being with it, we may just have some pain or emotion to feel but that can be threatening to the ego for fear of loss of control. So when we surrender we still experience pain but without resistance it doesn’t need to become suffering, it is just an experience of a particular quality, pleasant or unpleasant it does not threaten or effect the underlying state of inner peace or calm. From this perspective we could say that any time we are suffering it is an indication that we are in some way resisting what is, we are not in a state of surrender and so we suffer because ultimately life cannot be resisted.
Often people imagine that if they totally surrender to what is it will perpetuate unpleasant situations or they will become inactive or passive. But surrender is a state of empowered non-resistance and because we are accepting what is we are fully connected with our power, our clarity and life itself. From this place we inherently know when to take action and what action is appropriate and also when to just be still. It is a very alive empowered place and it is always there and always accessible if we can just let go and allow it to be…………
Tags: presence, present moment, sitting, surrender
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