In my practice lately one distinction that is becoming more clear and at the same time up leveling my experience is the experience of peace compared to that of happiness. So much of my life has been spent seeking happiness at first externally but more recently internally. Wishing happiness for myself and others as well and working to create it wherever and whenever possible. I began to adopt the perspective that instead of anything out there creating my happiness I am the creator of it and thus its source is within. That shift from an external source of happiness to an internal one was quite powerful. However I’m beginning to see the focus on happiness itself as an obstacle because it still seems connected to the world of form whether its external forms such as people, money or experiences or internal forms such as an identity, a happy state of mind or conceptual ideas of love and compassion. This is still quite a limited experience and since it is still connected with the world of form it remains transient and subject to its opposite.
What now seems more powerful and freeing is peace. The deep peace that comes from being fully present, being connected with present experience without judgment, resistance or avoidance. The deep peace that in the stillness when thought has subsided and the mind is at rest shines through from the very core of being, the divine. From here happiness even in its most noble and selfless forms seems shallow and trivial. It still feels good but more like a passing shadow on the surface of consciousness. Pain and suffering too when one is connected with being still hurt but are seen as equally surface and temporary and are permeated with this energy of peace. For me this makes the temporary states of happiness and pain far less important, they are still necessary experiences and I sometimes get caught up in them but they just don’t seem worthy of very much attention anymore.
The seeking of happiness and the avoidance or resistance to pain consume so much energy, its amazing to feel that deep sense of peace from the level of being when I’m able to let that go for a time.
