Living in community and exploration April 12, 2008
Posted by bodhidude in : Community, Relationship , trackbackFor most of my life I’ve either lived alone or with a partner but for the last several years I’ve felt a draw to live in community but haven’t been able to let go of my comfort zone until now. However what I’m finding is that I’m not sure I really know what it means to live in community from an experiential perspective. I feel a pull to share resources, connect with people in an intimate way and co-create a shared vision together. On the other hand I have tended to be a very private person who really enjoys time alone. The question becomes is there a middle ground between these two poles. I believe there is but its an interesting process of discovering that middle ground.
Currently I’m living in a community house with some very wonderful people whom I haven’t had much of a chance to get to know yet. The vibe at this place is very open and grounding and that feels really good with where I’m at right now. Its going to be interesting to see to what degree I fit in and connect with the space and the community here. Its a bit of an experiment and that seems to be where I’m at right now, in an experimental and exploratory phase. I’m not sure where its going to lead but it seems my difficulty right now is directly related to the degree that I grasp at things being settled and stable. The reality is that they are not and when I’m able to embrace that things begin to feel powerful and open and ok until the grasping returns.
The real challenge is letting go of grasping and realizing there is nothing to hold onto. Damn that is hard to do at times, the pull to grasp, solidify and need things to be the way I’m used to is sneaky in the way it creeps in and powerfully frightening when its fully activated. I’ve put myself in a situation where I have no choice but to let go because I have released most of what I was using for my sense of security. At a deeper level I know that community living is the right path both for me personally and for the future of our society and planet but I just don’t know what that will look like for me or how it will manifest yet. The process is certainly moving forward in any case……
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